Love, Hate and Revenge
by Hubacha
Summary: Dumbledore's inexplicably made James head boy, and Lily's not happy. But she's not the only one with love troubles. Things might not end happily for everyone, but what you can expect this year is a lot of love, hate and revenge.
1. Speak of the devil

**AN: I decided to put the first fanfic I ever wrote on here. It's over a year old so I think I've improved since then, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Please review!**

'Looking forward to another year at Hogwarts, Padfoot?' James asked, leaning against the wall of the train and stretching out his legs on the seat.

'Hell yeah,' Sirius replied, 'can't wait.'

'Let's hope it's as action-packed as last year.'

A wistful smile played on Sirius' lips as he remembered the events of their sixth year, 'Ah yes, the infamous invisible step prank. Good times. Do remember when we got Snape? I'll never forget his face when he…'

James' mind drifted away from what his friend was reminiscing when he caught sight of the girl striding past their carriage window. She was with her best friends, Martin and Sophie, laughing slightly at something they'd said. The wind caught her auburn hair, dragging it backwards as it caught the sunlight. Lily. As if she'd felt his stare, she glanced up at the window, her gaze meeting his for a second. Her smile faded and she rolled those emerald eyes that James had so often thought about. James noticed this and turned away, slumping in his seat.

Sirius was talking to him, but had noticed he wasn't paying attention, '…So then I said to the potato, "That's no cabbage, that's my wife."' When James didn't react, he frowned. 'James. JAMES!'

'Huh?'

'You weren't listening to a word I was saying, were you?'

'I was!' James insisted. 'You were talking about… erm… Snape?'

'Nope, I was talking about my conversation with a potato.'

'Ah.'

Remus laughed, 'Lily must be around.'

After a moments' silence, Peter asked, frowning slightly, 'Why did you talk to a potato?'

They all looked at him.

Sometimes they wondered why he was a Marauder.

There was a noise as someone dragged open the compartment door.

'Speak of the devil…' Sirius murmured.

James looked up to see Lily standing at the doorway, one hand resting on her hip.

'Morning Evans, couldn't resist coming to say hello I see.'

'Shut up Potter.'

'Lovely to see you too,' he said, pleasantly, running a hand through his jet black hair.

Lily glared at him, before turning and greeting Remus, who she was good friends with.

'So,' James continued, cheerfully, 'was there a particular reason to bless us with your presence? Or did you just miss me?'

'I came to see if it's true,' she replied, abruptly.

'If you're talking about those rumours, I'm afraid it's not true,' Sirius said, with a sympathetic smile, 'I don't go on dates for money. Sorry to disappoint you.'

'Shut up Black. I want to know if what people are saying about Potter is true.'

'I'm afraid you're going to have to be a little more specific, Evans.'

She sighed, 'Are you Head Boy.'

All eyes turned to James.

'Ah. Well… actually… yes,' he held up his arms to shield his face in mock fear.

'Oh dear God. What has Dumbledore done?' Remus murmured, as Sirius shouted at James.

'WHAT!?' he yelled. 'Are you KIDDING?'

'I'm afraid not,' James said, quietly.

'I don't believe it.' Lily muttered.

'No one speak until my heart starts beating again,' Sirius shook his head sadly, as if James had just died.

'Well, there's one good thing,' James smiled.

'What?'

'You get to spend a whole load of time with me, Evans.'

'Great,' she said, sarcastically as she slammed the door shut and stalked off.

There was a pause, broken when Remus eventually said, 'I think she likes you, mate.'

James threw the nearest object at him – Sirius.

* * *

'This is typical. I can't believe I have to spend the entire year with that big-headed, arrogant, vile…'

Lily was pacing angrily around the compartment, ranting on about how terrible life was, while her two friends nodded with sympathy occasionally.

'How long do you think she'll go on for?' Sophie whispered to Martin, mid-nod.

'Dunno, but I don't think now's a good time to tell her she has to share a common room with him.'

Sophie laughed quietly, and watched Lily as she continued her pacing.

'… How could this happen? What was Dumbledore thinking? Potter? Head-Boy? He's a conceited egotistical bastard and he doesn't deserve it. Why couldn't it have been Remus? At least he would-'

'LILY! I love you and everything, but SHUT UP!' Sophie yelled.

Lily threw herself to the seat and crossed her arms furiously across her chest.

'Thank God,' Martin smiled.

* * *

By the time the Marauders got to the Great Hall, the sorting was about to begin. They hurried over to the Gryffindor table, smiling up at the stern look that McGonagall shot them.

Lily rolled her eyes as James took his seat opposite her with a wink.

'You decided to turn up then,' Sophie smiled, mainly towards Sirius.

'When there's a feast involved, we'll always show up,' Sirius whispered back.

'Although the sorting isn't as exciting as it used to be,' James added, gazing around the hall as the new students were lead nervously to the sorting hat. He wasn't disconcerted to notice that a lot of people were looking at him – mainly female – but found that he was accustomed to it, even if he didn't crave it as he used to.

'Were we ever that small?' Remus asked, watching the first years with bored eyes.

'We must have been,' Peter replied, quietly.

They were relatively quiet for the remainder of the sorting, apart from Sirius' muffled laughs at unfortunate names or comments on the hat's choice.

After a short speech from Dumbledore and a round of the school song – an opera this year according to the Marauders (which earned them a couple of strange looks from the first years, but most of the school was used to it) – the food finally appeared on the table.

Sirius cheered loudly before digging in happily.

* * *

After the feast, the Head-Boy and Girl had to attend a meeting with their head of house.

Surprisingly, James turned up only a few minutes late.

'Come in, Potter,' McGonagall called from inside her office when he reached it.

Lily forced herself not to look at him as he strolled in and took a seat beside her, which was more difficult than you might think.

'Nice to see you again, Professor,' he smiled.

McGonagall smiled slightly, before turning to the matter at hand.

'As you may know, it's very rare for both Heads to be in the same house. I'm very proud of you both, so don't let me down.' She turned to Lily, 'Miss Evans, I think we all know why you were chosen.' She looked at James, who smiled back as if he knew what was coming. 'Mr Potter I'm not so sure about. You've had a record number of detentions – beaten only by Mr Black – you've been black-listed by Mr Filch, you chose not to do most homework, don't concentrate in lessons, pull pranks on the other students and generally make trouble. I know you've had some exceptional grades, but it's not as though you've earned them…'

'Does every new Head-Boy get this personal abuse,' James laughed, 'or am I a special case?'

'Don't interrupt me Potter,' McGonagall continued. 'However, I don't think you'll do too badly as Head-Boy, and who knows, maybe the responsibility will change you, and hopefully even rub off on Mr Black – I'm sick of giving you two detentions and I'd quite like to win the house cup this year, which your antics have made impossible every other year.'

'But we win the Quidditch cup,' James reasoned, 'so we should let the other houses win something, it's only fair.'

McGonagall ignored him, 'Anyway, your duties are to carry out the night patrol on Saturdays – the other days will be the prefects – to attend weekly meetings with the prefects, monthly meetings with me, any other duties I assign to you. Any questions? No? Good. You know where the Head's quarters are don't you?' Lily nodded - as a prefect, she'd been there every week last year for the meetings, but James looked blank.

'Miss Evans can show you where there are Mr Potter, the password's Pumpkin Juice,' McGonagall instructed, before dismissing them.

* * *

'So, Evans,' James began, as she lead him to their rooms, 'looking forward to being Head-Girl?'

'I would enjoy it infinitely more if I didn't have to spend so much time with you.'

'Strangely, I'd enjoy it infinitely less if that were the case.'

'Really? Don't worry, I'll try and fix that.'

'What are you gonna do, jinx me?' he raised an eyebrow. 'Wouldn't you be too scared that you may get,' he gasped in mock horror, 'a detention?'

'I've had detentions before.'

'Really?' he sounded genuinely surprised.

'Shut up Potter.'

'As you wish, your majesty.'

And so, they walked to the dorms in silence, and Lily half wished she hadn't told him to shut up, but there was no way she was going to let him know that. There was something about James that brought out the worst in her, and she didn't like the cutting person she was when he was around. She had made a resolution that she would be less harsh to him this year, but it was a hard habit to break. Eventually, they arrived at a portrait of a king and queen, who smiled at Lily as she gave the password.

'Wow!' James exclaimed as he stepped inside. It was like a miniature common room: a fireplace, a sofa, an armchair, the whole place decorated in Griffindor's red a gold, with windows on the wall opposite the door which overlooked the lake.

Lily went straight to the bedroom up the stairs to her right, having already seen the common room. The bed was a four-poster, as usual, but the room had bigger windows than in her old dorm, a desk, an armchair and an en suite bathroom. She strode to the window, smiling at the view. Stars that scattered the sky were mirrored in the lake, the moon's light shimmering on its surface. The forbidden forest marked the horizon, the Whomping willow's whipping branches silhouetted against the night sky.

With a content sigh, she turned around, and yelped when she found James standing behind her.

'Haven't you heard of knocking?' she demanded. 'You scared the hell out of me.'

'Technically, you haven't said this is your room yet,' he replied, admiring the view over her shoulder.

'Well I'm saying it now.'

'Anyway,' James carried on, his eyes moving from the window to meet Lily's, 'I came up to say goodnight.'

'Oh,' Lily had to turn away from his gaze, realising how close he was. 'Night.'

James hesitated, as if wanting to say something else, but turned and left the room.

Once he'd gone, Lily breathed out, collapsing on the bed. What the hell had just happened?


	2. How long does this torture go on for?

With a groan, Lily rolled over in her bed, squeezing her eyes shut against the sunlight streaming in through the window. Unfortunately, there wasn't any more bed to roll over onto, and she landed with a thud on the floor. With a louder, more pained groan, she decided it was too much effort to get up, choosing instead to just lie there a while.

Someone knocked on the door. When she didn't answer, James burst into the room anyway. He always seemed to do that, bursting into any room he entered, just walking in like everyone else didn't seem possible for him.

'Evans?' hhe called out, cheerfully, then noticed her lying on the floor. 'I think you missed the bed, Evans. But, if you find the wood more comfy, then whatever works for you is…'

'I didn't sleep here,' Lily replied, standing up hurriedly, praying she wouldn't fall over.

James raised an eyebrow, but didn't press the matter. 'Are you coming to breakfast?'

'What? Oh, yeah, just let me shower and stuff first.' It was then that she realised that she was wearing her pyjamas patterned with sheep that her mum had given her for her birthday.

James smirked, 'Nice pyjamas.'

* * *

When Lily eventually arrived in the Great Hall for breakfast, Sophie and Martin were already there. She took a seat next to Sophie, who Lily noticed was blushing slightly.

'What's going on?' Lily asked, looking from Martin to Sophie.

'Sophie fancies Black,' Martin laughed, earning himself a punch on the arm.

'I do not!' Sophie argued.

Lily smiled. 'So that's who you were looking at in Defence Against the Dark Arts!'

'No!' Sophie exclaimed, but Lily ignored her.

'I can't say I'm not a little relieved, I thought you were looking at Pettigrew. That really would be scary.'

'I do not fancy Sirius.'

'Of course you don't,' Martin said, 'and you haven't been glancing at him every few minutes either.'

Lily laughed as her friend buried her head in her hands.

'I'll ask James if he likes you if you want,' Lily suggested.

'Don't!' Sophie squealed. 'Don't say anything!'

'Ah, so it is true.'

Lily looked over at Sirius. For some reason, half the girls in the school fancied him. Actually, Lily knew what that reason was: he was the best-looking boy at Hogwarts, and he treated girls well; until he dumped them.

Lily was startled to find that she'd moved her gaze to James – who was sitting next to Sirius – without her realising it. Most girls who didn't fancy Sirius or Remus, fancied James. Not that he ever really dated anyone. There was something mysterious about him that Lily was unhappy to find attracted her to him. No, not attracted, she was not attracted to James Potter. At all. But not only was he handsome, intelligent, funny and sporty, but he also had that casual quality that…

James looked up at her, noticed she was watching him and smiled. It was such a genuine smile, that she couldn't help returning it.

'Looks like Sophie's not the only one with a thing for a Marauder,' Martin laughed, snapping Lily out of her trance.

'Shut up. I do not fancy James.'

'Oh, so it's James now is it? What happened to Potter?'

Lily blinked. Had she just called him James?

'Well, I spend so much time with him now, that it makes sense…' she trailed off, noticing the smirks of her two friends. 'Shut up,' she said, just as the bell rang for lessons. She swore when she realised she hadn't eaten anything and grabbed a slice of toast before leaving for her first lesson.

* * *

'This class needs livening up. Can you get Flitwick out of the class for a second?'

'Sure,' Sirius grinned back at James. He raised his hand, asking if he could go to the loo.

James gave Sirius a conspiratorial wink before he left.

Thirty seconds later, Sirius was back at the door, panting as if he'd been running, and shouted, 'Proffesor, quickly, there's a troll!'

Flitwick hurried after Sirius, tripping over his feet as he went.

James stood up and went to the window, grinning. Nimbly, he swung one leg out, grappling for a foothold. When he found one (on a gargoyle) he clambered out of the room. Using the gargoyles, ivy and broken stone as support, he'd almost reached the bottom before the ivy he'd been holding onto snapped. He fell the last few feet, but wasn't badly hurt.

Above him, the rest of the class were watching out of the windows as he transfigured one of the puddles left over from the previous night's rain so that it was red. Laying down, he positioned himself so he was sprawled on the ground, head in the puddle that now looked like blood.

Back in the classroom, Sirius and Flitwick were now returning.

'Sorry sir, I could've sworn that suit of armour was a troll.'

'It's quite all right Mr Black, but – what's going on in here? Excuse me please,' Flitwick stammered, as he tried to get to the window to see what was going on.

James screamed dramatically.

Flitwick poked his head out of the window, caught sight of the bleeding and screaming James who'd apparently fallen out of the window, and promptly fainted.

* * *

'Hey Evans,' James smiled as he entered the heads' common room.

'Potter, I'm really busy now, can I ignore you some other time?'

'Well, usually I would oblige,' (Lily rolled her eyes), 'but a thought just crossed my mind-'

'Must have been a long and very lonely journey for it.' Lily replied, not looking up

'Ooh, cutting, I like that.' James dropped into the sofa. 'But the point is, it's patrol night.'

'Already?'

'Yup,' James said, cheerfully.

'Aren't there any prefects to do it instead?' Lily's tone was almost pleading.

'Nope, Friday night's for the Heads to patrol, prefects are other weekdays and Sundays.'

With a sigh, Lily pushed her homework away from her, 'How long does this torture go on for?'

'Until midnight.'

'Great,' Lily grumbled, sarcastically.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room, the remaining Marauders were lounging on the sofas.

'How do you think James is getting on with Evans?' Sirius asked, smiling.

'I'd be surprised if he's still alive,' Remus replied, swinging his legs up onto the sofa.

'Poor boy, he just won't give up on her.'

Just then, Sophie came down from the girls dormitory, joining Martin by the fire. After a moment's hesitation, Sirius stood up and went over to her. Leaning a hand on he arm of her chair, he said, 'Sophie?'

'Yes?'

'Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?' He asked, casually.

'Sure,' she smiled up at him.

'Great,' he leant down, kissed her lightly on the cheek, shouted goodnight to the other Marauders and went up to bed.

* * *

It had been and entire hour since they'd begun patrolling, and Lily still didn't want to murder James. In fact, this had been the longest they'd stayed in each other's company without an argument. They'd been talking like civil people, and Lily could almost say she was enjoying her time with him. He made her laugh, at least.

Unfortunately, it didn't last. It never did.

'That stunt you pulled today was cruel,' Lily said, after an awkward silence that she was desperate to fill. Immediately after she'd said it, she regretted it.

James snorted, 'It was bloody hilarious.'

'It was not. Poor Flitwick didn't deserve it.'

'Don't deny that you found it a little funny,' James smirked.

'No I did not, you arrogant bastard.'

James sighed, happily, 'It's nice to know that some things never change.'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean,' James turned to look at her, but she kept walking, 'that whenever we seem to be getting along, you have to do something like that to ruin it.'

'I do not.'

'Anyone would think that you didn't want us to get along.'

'That's not true.'

'Are you scared that I may not turn out to be as bad as you'd always made me out to be?'

Lily suddenly stopped walking. She was shocked to realise that what he'd said could be true. In an attempt to lighten the mood, she smiled and said, 'Well, if I hadn't ruined it with that, you would've ruined it by asking me out.'

James smiled, moving his hands to his pockets, 'And when was the last time I did that?'

Stopping to think, Lily realised that he hadn't asked her out at all this year. It was only two days, but it was still an achievement, especially as they'd spent most of that time together. With a satisfied smile, James continued walking, and the silence wasn't as awkward after that.

At midnight, when they'd got back to the heads' quarters, James said, 'That wasn't so bad, was it?'

'No,' Lily smiled, 'Not bad at all.'

'I always knew you'd fall for my charms eventually.'

Lily punched him lightly on the arm, 'I didn't say that, I only meant I an spend more than two minutes with you now and not think murderous thoughts.'

'You're a very violent person, Evans, maybe you should see a therapist or someone.'

'It seems to be a side-effect of spending time with you.'

'Well,' James laughed, running a hand through his head, 'at least I'm affecting you in some way. Goodnight.'

Lily smiled at his back as he walked away, before turning to go to bed herself.

After changing into her sheep pyjamas, she cleaned her teeth and climbed into her bed. As she lay their, eyes closed, she heard James moving around in his room.

With a smile, she dropped into unconsciousness.

Not too far away, James was pulling the covers over him. Placing his glasses on his bedside table, he closed his eyes from the now blurry room around him. Lily had been smiling, around him. Because of him. Sure, she looked beautiful even when she was angry at him, but she looked even better when she was laughing.

Oblivious to the painful events that would occur just days later, he slipped into a happy slumber.

**AN: Please review!**


	3. I'm not like that anymore

After that night, time passed with unusual ease. James and Lily barely argued, and Sirius was beginning to understand why some guys preferred to date girls instead of just making out with them.

No one guessed that the arrival of a new girl would upset the peace so much. She seemed normal enough – named Olivia (or Livee to her friends), she had shoulder-length straight brown hair, hazel eyes, was funny and light-hearted – and was soon befriended by not only Lily, Sophie and Martin, but also the infamous Marauders.

Two weeks after her arrival, everything took a turn for the worst.

The day started well. Lily, Sophie, Livee and Martin were sitting in the Great Hall eating breakfast, discussing the lessons they'd be having that day.

'I've got double potions,' Lily groaned.

'At least you've got me and Liv then,' Sophie pointed out, 'I've got muggle studies on my own.'

'Why did you even take that subject?' Martin asked, piling pancakes on his plate. 'It's so boring.'

'Because,' Sophie snapped, 'there are more muggles in the world than wizards. Don't you think it's a good idea to get to know about them?'

Martin laughed, 'Hell no.'

'Fine, but when a crazy muggle kidnaps you and holds you at gun point, don't come crying to me.'

'Hello, I'm a wizard. I'm not afraid of muggles.'

'You should be because you're not a very good wizard.'

Laughing, Lily interrupted their arguing, 'Both of you shut up and sympathise with my double potions.'

Before she could give her sympathy, however, Sophie's attention was taken by Sirius who had just walked into the Hall. He came over to them, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek and taking a seat next to her.

James sat down next to Lily, with Remus on his other side, and smiled at her. Lily smiled in return, hoping he wouldn't annoy her too much.

'Good morning, Miss Evans.'

'Morning Potter.'

'Looking forward to double potions today?'

'Of course not.'

'Don't worry, I'll find a way to make it more interesting for you,' he winked.

'Urgh.' Lily turned to Livee. 'Wanna be my potions partner?'

'Sure,' Livee smiled, 'but I'm terrible at it. They assumed I'd be good because my father makes potions for hospitals as his job, so they put me in the advanced class with you lot. I don't know how I'll catch up.'

James leaned around Lily to talk to Livee. 'I'll give you some extra tuition if you want,' he offered with a signature grin.

For some reason, this made Lily angry. 'Shut up Potter,' she snapped.

'What did I do now?' he demanded.

'Breathed!' Lily didn't want to be this mean, but she couldn't help it. There was something about his arrogant grin that made her want to hex him.

James made it worse by smirking, 'There's no need to be jealous, Evans.'

'I'm not jealous.'

James raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything else.

Not knowing exactly why she was so angry, Lily grabbed her bag and went to leave. Annoyingly, James did the same. Lily looked with pleading eyes at Sophie, who sighed and got up as well. Of course, this meant that Sirius got up, followed by Remus, then Livee and Martin. With a satisfied smile that she wouldn't be walking with only James, Lily left the Great Hall with the group.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful – Lily managed to endure double potions without too many suicidal thoughts, and Sophie got through muggle studies by doodling on her parchment.

On their way to back to the common room, however, they came across Peter Pettigrew with none other than Lucius Malfoy.

'What are you doing with that bastard?' Sirius snarled.

'Peter's found some friends that aren't ignorant idiots,' Lucius sneered.

Sirius pretended to look around, 'Oh, I can't see them.'

'So this is where you'd been the past couple of weeks,' James muttered, not able to hide the disgust on his face.

'It's not as if you noticed,' Peter spat back, failing to sound brave.

'So you've chosen Malfoy over us?' Remus asked quietly. Unlike the other two, who had expressions showing anger and disgust, Remus' face only showed hurt.

Peter didn't reply, so Lucius did for him, 'Yes he has, so get lost and take your mudblood friend with you.'

Lily's head snapped up.

'What the hell's your problem, arsehole?' James demanded, eyes flashing. 'Lily's never done anything to you.' _I must not hit him_, he told himself, _I must not hit him, I must not hit him, I must not…_

'Yes she has: she was born.'

'You absolute…' James didn't even bother finishing whatever insult his brain had come up with, concentrating instead on how much he really should hit him.

Unfortunately – or fortunately, whichever way you want to look at it – James' advance was cut short by Remus' hand on his arm.

James turned, and noticed Lily striding away down the corridor. Cursing, he went after her, but not before shooting a quick nose-hair growth spell in Lucius Malfoy's direction.

* * *

'Hey Evans,' a voice said from behind her.

Lily was in the astronomy tower, gazing out at the setting sun.

She whirled around, 'Oh, it's you.'

James stopped walking towards her, hesitated, then turned to leave.

Lily regretted her harsh greeting, grabbing his arm, 'Wait, sorry.'

'What have I ever done to you?' James asked, sounded genuinely confused. 'Why do you hate me so much?'

'I-' she began, but didn't know what to say.

'I've only ever been civil to you, and you're nothing but cold to me. What have I done to deserve it?' Lily was silent, but James continued, 'I can't work out what you want, Lily. Do you want someone to love you? I can give you that. I love you so much I've suffered six years of your hatred, and still want nothing more than to be with you. But it seems to me that you don't want that, you want someone who you can let out all your anger on, someone who'll take all you venom and come back for more. You now what Lily? I'm not willing to be that person anymore.' He turned to leave.

'That's not what I want!'

James whirled around to face her and said, little more loudly, 'Then what have I done that's so terrible? Let it all out Lily, go on. Why do you hate me?'

At another time, she would have left it, but she had been hurt from what had happened earlier. 'Do you really want to know?' she snapped.

James nodded.

'You are an arrogant bastard and you think that you're better than everyone else. You jinx people because you're in a bad mood, and bully people who can't defend themselves. You think that just because you're Quidditch captain, and get good marks that everyone else should worship you. When you do something wrong you think that you can get away with it, but if anyone else irritates you just a tiny bit you hex them. Girls fall at your feet and you love every minute of it, making your head more swelled than it already is, you egotistical, big-headed, narcissistic prick.'

James whispered, 'I'm not like that anymore.' But Lily barely noticed.

'And worst of all, you won't leave me alone because I've committed the crime of being to only girl ever to say no to you, which, by the way, I do because I know that if I accept, you'll use me for a week then cast me aside like I never mattered. You make me sick!'

'Why the hell would I do that to you?'

'Well you've done it to every other girl you've been with!'

There was a pause, before James muttered, 'If that's all you think of me, then fine. I won't bother you again.'

Lily looked up at him but he was facing away. 'What?'

But he'd already turned and stormed down the steps, leaving Lily alone, her tears glistening in the moonlight.

* * *

Once it had got too cold and lonely in the tower, Lily had returned to her dorm, looking for a friend to rant at. Finding Sophie and Livee asleep, she'd attempted to do the same, but it was impossible. So she had given up.

Lily now sat in an armchair by the fire, arms wrapped around her knees, watching the flames. She pulled her sleeves over her hands to keep them warm, and sighed. For an hour she had lay in bed, trying to sleep. But it was useless, so she had come down to the common room to think. The shadows in the room moved with the flickers of the flames, which were almost hypnotic.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a couple come in through the portrait. Poking her head around the back of the chair, she noticed with shock that it was Sirius and a 6th year girl. Kissing. Her thoughts turned to Sophie, who was sleeping in blissful ignorance upstairs, and was filled with anger. She'd known Sirius was a bastard. He didn't deserve Sophie.

Lily was about to approach the boy and deliver some serious pain, when she heard someone else enter the room. She moved back behind the protection of the armchair when she realised who it was.

'Sirius?' the voice said. It was James; none of them had realised that she was there.

She heard Sirius and the girl break apart.

'Er, hi,' Sirius said, sheepishly.

'What the hell are you doing?' James demanded.

'I'd have thought it was obvious,' Sirius replied, with a forced laugh.

'You - bugger off,' James snapped, presumably to the girl.

There was a patter of feet as the girl ran up the stairs to her dormitory. Lily stayed hidden where she was and listened to the two best friends talk.

'That was unnecessary,' Sirius said, quietly.

In the silence that followed, Lily tried to move as little as possible in case she gave away her hiding place.

'You went too far, Sirius,' James stated, flatly.

'Aw, come on, Prongs, I was just having a bit of fun!'

'A bit of fun?' James repeated, angrily. 'You already have a girlfriend.'

'Yeah, but,' Sirius sounded uneasy, something Lily hadn't heard before, 'you wouldn't tell her, right?'

'She should know what a bastard her boyfriend is!'

'What happened to you, Prongs? You used to love having flings. You went through girls faster than I did!'

'I grew up, Sirius, that's what happened to me.'

'Correction: you became boring. You're just jealous because you've never had a girlfriend serious enough to cheat on.'

'Shut up,' James murmured, his voice quiet and dangerous.

Sirius continued, regardless, 'I don't understand you, James, girls are falling over themselves to go out with you, and you used enjoy it. Now suddenly you ignore every girl except your precious Lily, and lecture me for not being committed. You've never even had anyone to be committed to. The only girl you care about hates you. Maybe that's why I prefer flings, because if I fell for a girl, I'd end up like you. Without anyone.'

James was silent.

Lily heard their angry breaths; she'd never known them to argue like this before.

'Maybe,' James said, softly, 'I got sick of girls only wanting me because of my looks, or because they think it's an honour. Maybe I want someone to love me for me, and not for my image. Someone who thinks of me as an equal. Maybe I want something real. Maybe you should grow up and want it too, before it's too late.'

With that, he turned and strode upstairs to the Head-Boy's dormitory, leaving Sirius fuming.

James' "precious Lily" hugged her knees more tightly to her. He had changed.

As she turned her head, she caught sight of Remus, standing at the bottom of the stairs from his dormitory. He was watching her. He turned to Sirius.

'Nice one, Sirius,' he said, sarcastically, as Sirius pushed past him to go to bed. Slowly, Remus too turned, after one last glance at Lily. She prayed he wouldn't tell Sirius that she'd been there.

**AN: I hope you're enjoying it so far! Opinions and constructive critisism are always welcome.**


	4. I give up

Lily had spent the whole morning wishing she could tell Sophie about what had happened last night, but without letting Sirius and James know she had been there, she couldn't.

She was now in potions, thinking about what she could do without taking in anything that Professor Slughorn had been saying. Looking up, she realised he was pairing people up to make the potion. She prayed she'd be put with someone who'd been listening…

'Evans and… Potter'

She groaned. He certainly wouldn't know what they had to do. Not only that, but he was the last person she wanted to be partnered with after the previous night.

James looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers, but it was a different look than she'd ever had from him. There was no playful smile in his eyes. But there was no hatred, or hurt or anger in the look either. It was empty. It scared her.

James turned to Remus, said something that made his friend smile and took the textbook that Remus had handed him before walking over to her.

'What potion are we making? I wasn't listening,' she asked, avoiding his eyes.

He raised an eyebrow at her, but only said, 'Truth potion.'

'Oh.'

They mixed the potion in relative silence, only speaking to ask the next instruction, or request an ingredient.

Halfway through, however, while the potion was brewing, Lily took a deep breath and said, 'About last night…'

'You know nothing about me, Evans, so don't judge me,' James interrupted, not looking at her.

'Actually, I know more about you than you think.'

'I'm sure.'

Lily stopped stirring the potion and looked at him, but he continued preparing the ingredients. 'I'm not a complete idiot – I do take notice of things.'

'Oh yeah? So what do you know about me then?' he asked, sounding bored.

'I know that you hate the Dark Arts. I know that you like sitting under that tree by the lake; your favourite drink is butterbeer; you cover up your real emotions with humour and you don't like any girl getting too close to you. I know that usually you hate to be alone, but some mornings, before I get up, you go to sit by the lake. I know that once a month you disappear with Black, Pettigrew and Lupin,' as she spoke, James's hand stopped cutting up the ingredient, but Lily continued, 'and that before you go you're really excited and happy, but when you get back you don't talk to me, but go straight to bed. I also know that you hate it when girls follow you around and you hate how Sirius sometimes treats them, and you think people like you for your image and not for you, and that…' she went silent, realising that James was completely still, and looked down at the potion.

'How do you know all that?' he questioned, his voice barely more than a whisper.

'Ev – everyone knows that stuff,' Lily stammered, but trailed off when she realised how feeble her excuse was.

'Where were you last night?' he asked, suspiciously, his tone more demanding than before.

'In my room, of course,' she replied; it was the truth, just not the whole truth.

James didn't speak for a while, but when he did, he said quietly, 'Sirius cheated on Sophie last night, I thought you should know.'

Lily tried to act shocked, she really did. She was actually shocked that he'd told her, and been so blunt about it, but she couldn't hide the fact that she already knew. She couldn't hide a lot from James.

James turned and looked at her, surprised, 'You already knew?'

'No,' she lied.

'You were there, last night, weren't you?' James demanded, 'How else would you know?'

'I… I heard from a sixth year.'

He laughed humourlessly, 'Yeah, one of your many sixth-year-friends. And you're not denying that you knew, now?'

Lily put down the spoon she had just stirred the potion with. 'Yes, I did know. Yes, I was there. And yes, it took all my self control not to go over to Sirius and hex the bastard into oblivion.'

'What stopped you? The threat of detentions?' he replied, bitterly, picking up the spoon and stirring the potion again (twice clockwise, once anticlockwise)

'No, actually, you came in, that's what stopped me.'

'How very considerate of you.'

They were interrupted by the potions master, who called out, 'Time to test your potions. Take a small sip each, and ask your partner a simple question.'

James took the first sip, and waited for Lily to ask a question.

After thinking for a second, Lily decided on: 'Why do you still ask me out after six years of me saying no?'

'Because I love you,' he stated, simply.

Lily swallowed some of the liquid, dreading what he would ask.

'What do you really think of me?' James asked, watching her closely.

You bastard, she thought to herself as she blurted out, 'I think that you only let the Marauders know the real you, and that you're really slightly insecure, and not as big-headed as you pretend to be. I also think you hide behind the exterior that others made for you to use it as an excuse not to let anyone close, and that you're very good-looking, and that I -' with wide eyes, she clamped her hands over her mouth and ran from the room.

James stood where he was for a second, before turning to Remus and Sirius.

'I need to go and talk to Evans,' he mumbled.

'Why bother? We all know how the conversation will go,' Remus stated, not looking up from packing away his work.

'Is that so?'

'Yup,' Sirius joined in. 'Like this: "Hey Evans, go out with me?" then there'll be a sigh, and some rejection, some swearing, then blah blah blah and it'll end "Just Piss off Potter."'

James sighed, 'Fine.'

* * *

Sophie had not taken the news of Sirius' betrayal well. She was with Lily and Livee in the head-girl's common room, seething.

'It's ok if you want to cry,' Lily comforted her.

'I don't want to sodding cry, I wanna smash his face in.'

'It's ok if you want to do that too.'

Sophie smiled, but it was soon replaced by an angry scowl. 'I really thought he cared about me. I'm so stupid.'

'He didn't deserve you,' Livee said, handing Sophie a chocolate frog.

Just then, James entered the room, with Sirius in tow. He stopped when he saw the girls, and turned to leave.

'Get back here Black you coward.'

Cringing, Sirius stopped and slowly turned to face her. 'I'm really sorry, Sophie.'

'You couldn't even tell me yourself,' Sophie said, disgusted. 'Just to make it official, it's over.'

Sirius looked at the ground for a moment, then left the room, disconcerted to find that for once, he actually cared.

* * *

Stink-bombs?'

'Too obvious.'

'Fireworks?'

'Done it.'

'Pixies?'

'3rd year.'

'This is impossible!' Sirius snapped, throwing a cushion at the wall. He'd decided that they should try to think of a big prank to take his mind off Sophie; unfortunately, it wasn't working as planned.

'No need to get violent, Padfoot,' Remus laughed.

'I'll show you violence…' growled Sirius, but James silenced him with a cushion to the face.

'Concentrate,' he ordered, 'we need to think of the greatest prank ever to victimise Hogwarts. A prank spectacular enough to be remembered for decades. The Marauder's last prank is a huge occasion, it needs to be clever, perfect, huge, loud, memorable and most importantly – bloody hilarious.'

'Anyone would think the world was ending,' Remus murmured.

James sat up in is seat. 'The world practically is ending, Moony! Think about it. No one to torment the professors who deserve it, no one to be the topic of conversation for weeks, no one to get revenge on other students, no one to keep Filch company every night in detention, no one to – '

'Stop it, Prongs, you're breaking my heart!' Sirius pretended to cry.

Remus smiled and lay down on the sofa. 'Who will lighten the hearts of students and strike fear into teachers when we're gone?' he mused, staring sadly at the ceiling.

There was a pause while they reflected on this. James, who was thinking about prank ideas again, suggested quietly, 'Boggarts?'

'Isn't that a bit too cruel?'

James shrugged. 'I guess.'

* * *

'Oi, you guys, get your arses over here and play Truth or Dare with us.'

'Get lost, Black,' Sophie replied, not looking up, 'we're trying to study.'

'Back to last names are we, Sophie?' Sirius called, trying and failing to hide the sadness in his voice under layers of indifference.

'I would say so, yes.'

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but Remus interrupted, and surprised Sophie by saying, 'Come on, please play. If only to rescue me from another of Sirius' rants.'

With a sigh, Sophie replied, 'Fine. But for you, Remus, not for him.'

Sophie and Martin sat with Remus, Livee and Lily doing so a little more reluctantly. It was only an hour ago they'd played a similar game, and look how that had ended.

At that moment, someone came down the steps into the common room.

Lily turned to see who it was, and found her eyes locking with James'. He looked away first, turning to Sirius who demanded he join in. With a sigh of resignation, he did, sitting between Remus and Martin – far away from both Lily and Sirius.

Grinning, Sirius retrieved an empty bottle of butterbeer, spinning it on the ground to see who had to go first. It was the vial of truth potion Sirius had pocketed from earlier's potions lesson that really worried Lily.

This game was going to cause trouble.

The first few rounds were relatively harmless - just questions about embarassing stories or minorly humiliating dares. Until one round, when Sirius span the bottle, it stilled with its neck pointing at Sophie.

'Truth,' she chose, opting for safety.

'Do you still have feelings for Sirius?'

Sophie looked directly into Sirius' eyes before answering, 'No.'

Sirius went uncharacteristically quiet for the next couple of rounds, which included a proposal of love to McGonagall, telling stories about embarrassing moments and sending a love letter to Snape.

Soon though, after Sirius had answered Remus' truth question of how many girls he'd dated at once ('five – it was messy when they found out,' he'd replied, with a content smile of reminiscence), he span the bottle which landed on Lily. She didn't like the faintly evil grin on his face when she chose dare, immediately wishing she hadn't. She hadn't chosen truth for fear that she'd be asked a question about James – under the truth potion, she could tell the truth that she hadn't yet admitted to herself. What could be worse than that?

With a glance at James, Sirius dared Lily to kiss Remus for one minute.

James knew this was his punishment for what he'd said the previous night and for telling Lily what Sirius had done; he gritted his teeth and watched – though his mind screamed at him to turn away – as Lily awkwardly approached his friend.

Remus glared at Sirius. How could he do this to his supposed best friend? Still, he knew he had to go along with the dare. Rules were rules. With Sirius playing, who knew what hidden consequences there were to not carrying out a dare – he dreaded to imagine what kind of hex he'd come up with.

Pride forced James to watch the girl he loved press her lips against his friend's, he didn't want Sirius to win this one. He couldn't let it get to him. James knew it was only a dare, and it didn't mean anything, but it still killed him inside seeing Remus accomplish what he'd wanted to do for six years.

Lily's hand slid behind Remus' neck, who put his own palm on her cheek.

20 seconds.

James noticed out of the corner of his eye that Sirius wasn't watching the dare, but was staring at James, searching for a reaction.

It took all James' self-control to not turn away, to run. He'd been rejected constantly for six years, what difference did one kiss in truth or dare make? Too much.

30 seconds.

Just watch James, he told himself, steal Sirius' victory.

Remus' other hand moved to Lily's waist.

40 seconds.

Sirius looked at the ground. Was that regret in his eyes? Regret, from the great, untouchable Sirius Black?

'You can stop now,' he mumbled quietly.

Lily pulled away from Remus. No one laughed. No one smiled. No one spoke.

After a deafening silence, Lily threw a fierce look at Sirius and walked off up to her dormitory, followed by Sophie, and then Martin,who went to his own.

Remus still stood where Lily had left him, staring at Sirius.

James eventually murmured, 'Was she good?'

'Don't James,' Remus whispered. It was so tense and quiet in the room that they could hear the swish of the Whomping Willow outside.

'Sorry,' Sirius muttered, not looking up. When James didn't reply, he continued, 'I just wanted to get you back. For…yesterday.'

'Just piss off.'

Hesitantly, Sirius obeyed, leaving Remus and James alone.

'James,' Remus began, but he was cut off.

'Leave it, Moony. It's not your fault. I just…' He stopped. 'Sirius is right.'

'What?'

'I've spent so much time chasing after Lily that I've missed out on all the fun I could have been having. I mean, who am I kidding anyway, she hates me for Merlin's sake.'

Remus didn't answer.

'I just give up, Moony, I give up on Evans.'

**A/N This was originally two parts, but I thought it would be better to put them together in one chapter.  
I hope you liked it :D  
Don't forget to leave a review letting me know what you think.**


	5. Must be that time of the month

Sirius sat at the Gryffindor table, chin resting in his hand.

'This is serious, Padfoot, we have to do something,' Remus was saying, his head leaned towards Sirius so he could lower his voice and only be heard by him.

Sirius stared at his plate and grumbled sulkily, 'Did you hear the stuff he was saying to me? Acting like he's all high and mighty just because he's "in loooove".'

'He's right, what you did was going too far, Sophie didn't deserve it,' Remus said matter-of-factly.

'Oh, fine, be on James' side, as usual. The self-righteous little shi-'

'Padfoot, he said he's given up in Evans.'

Sirius dropped his cup of pumpkin juice which had been halfway to his mouth.

'This _is_ serious.'

Just then, James arrived in the Great Hall, taking his place beside Remus, who was clearing up the juice with his wand.

'Morning,' he grunted.

'Prongs, you idiot, you're not seriously be giving up on Evans?' Sirius asked, leaning around Remus.

'Yup,' James replied, stabbing a piece of toast viciously with his knife.

'But,' Sirius spluttered, 'you've been after her for six years, and now you're almost getting somewhere.'

'Exactly.' James reached for his wand and muttered something under his breath. At the same time, one of the benches at the Slytherin table disappeared, causing half the Slytherins to fall hard on the floor.

'Was that necessary?' Remus smiled.

'It made me feel better.'

Lily, Sophie and Livee sat down at the table. The first two refused to look at the Marauders, but Livee smiled. Only Remus returned it.

Suddenly, James stood up and left, followed by a sighing Remus and Sirius.

'You don't think James is angry at me, do you?' Lily asked casually.

'Do you care?' Livee smiled.

Lily shrugged, and Sophie raised her eyebrows.

'What?' Lily exclaimed.

'You miss the attention, don't you?'

'NO!'

Livee laughed. 'Whatever, Lily. You just keep telling yourself that.'

'Telling myself what?'

'That you and James aren't perfect for each other.'

'We're not!' Lily grumbled. 'Besides, you've only been here a while, you don't know what he was like before.'

'That's a good point,' Sophie agreed, 'but you have to admit, he's not as arrogant as he used to be.'

'Maybe.'

* * *

Non-practical potions lessons were the worst. They just sat there, listening to the potions master droning on about some complex potion they would undoubtedly have to make next lesson. The only good thing about it was that you could catch up on some sleep, or pass notes to your mates.

James watched with a half smile as Sirius banged his head repeatedly on the table.

'Can you tell him to stop that? It's really distracting,' Remus whispered to James from beside him.

Smiling, James scrawled on a spare piece of parchment and threw it at Sirius.

_Sirius,  
__Remus says that if you don't stop that, he'll turn your head into a hammer then we'll see how much hitting it against things.  
__James.  
__p.s WE NEED A PLAN_

Sirius laughed and wrote back:

_James,  
__Are you sure that's exactly what he said? __But I'll stop anyway; it was beginning to hurt – who'd have thought it? __As for the plan… erm… I can't think until my head stops hurting.  
__Sirius_

_Sirius,  
__That's pretty much how he said it. __And if I were you, I just wouldn't think – who knows how a shock to your system like that could affect you? __Not that you could come up with a decent prank anyway.  
__Your loving friend, James._

_James,  
__How dare you insult my prank-ideas?  
__Ok, how about… sending everyone howlers?  
__Sirius_

_Sirius,  
__OH DEAR GOD! I take back what I said most humbly. For that is, without a doubt, the most AMAZING, FANTASTIC, COMA-INDUCINGLY WONDERFUL plan I have EVER heard in my ENTIRE LIFE. I beg you to forgive my former harshness.  
__Yours in awe, James.  
__p.s. Please don't doubt my sincerity._

_James,  
__Thankyou.  
__Sirius.  
__p.s. Hasn't anyone told you that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?_

_Sirius,  
__Don't be ridiculous, sending howlers and making fun of fat people is the lowest form of wit.  
__James_

_James,  
__Touché.  
__Sirius_

_Sirius,  
__Now could you kindly leave me alone? I want to do some of my work.  
__James_

Sirius laughed so hard he had to be sent out of the classroom to recover.

* * *

Just before dinner, Sophie was making her way back to the Common Room after an hour of studying in the library. Predictably, her potions master had paired her with Sirius; such was her luck. In her mind, the more studying she did now, the less she would have to do with him later.

She had just decided not to tell Lily and Livee about this, when a hand darted out from the darkness, slamming her back against the wall. Another hand covered her mouth, stopping her from screaming. Her attacker moved their head closer to hers, making his features visible in the limited light. Her eyes narrowed and she bit down on his hand.

'Ow!' Sirius yelped, moving his hand away.

'What do you think you're doing?' Sophie whispered, angrily.

'I need to talk to you.'

'Well I don't want to talk to you.' Sophie tried to escape, but he pushed both her wrists against the wall, pinning her in place.

'Just listen to me,'

'Get the hell off!'

'If I let go, will you promise not to leave?'

'Hell no, you can shove that up your -'

'Well then I won't get off,' he interrupted.

'Fine, what do you want?'

'I want you to know that I've never regretted anything more than cheating on you.'

'I'm flattered,' she muttered, sounding bored.

'And I want you to go back out with me.'

Sophie opened her mouth to speak, but then had a better idea. In a second, she'd whirled around, and was now pinning Sirius against the wall. With closed eyes, she kissed him gently, loosening her grip on his wrists. She felt them slide out of her grasp completely as his hands relocated to her waist. Sirius moved away from the wall slightly, running a hand through her hair, smiling inwardly. Deepening the kiss, Sophie slipped her tongue into his mouth, feeling his familiar touch on her back. With her teeth, she caught his bottom lip and nipped it teasingly as she pulled away. After a couple of kisses to his neck, her mouth was almost brushing his ear.

'That was the last kiss,' she whispered softly, but dangerously, 'that you will ever receive from me. If you ever touch me again, I'll kick you so hard, that it will put a permanent end to the Black line.' She stepped back into the darkness, and disappeared.

Leaning back against the wall heavily, Sirius slid to the ground in defeat.

* * *

Remus rolled his eyes as James and Sirius left the common room to stink-bomb the Slytherins. Obviously they'd forgiven each other. He turned back to his Charms essay and after a couple of minutes, he looked up to see Sophie approaching him, nervously.

'Hey,' he said, putting down his quill, sensing something was wrong.

'Hi Remus.' She smiled, sitting next to him on the sofa. She knew this was a bad idea, but she really wanted to hurt Sirius for what he'd done. Not only that, but she wanted him to know what it felt like to see the person you liked kiss someone else. Now she knew he cared, she wanted him to feel what she'd felt when he cheated on her. What he'd made James feel during that game of truth or dare.

Remus frowned slightly. 'Are you ok?'

'Yeah.' She smiled back, unconvincingly, shuffling closer to him.

'What's Sirius done this time?'

She laughed softly, before saying, 'Actually, there's something I've been meaning to give you.'

'What?'

'This.'

Remus barely noticed her eyes flicking towards the portrait behind him, before she'd pressed her lips against his and all thoughts were forgotten. He moved a hand to behind her neck as she deepened the kiss. Somewhere in the distance, a portrait opened, and a voice brought Remus to his senses.

'Hey kids, having fun?'

It was Sirius.

Sophie pulled away, and from one look at her face, Remus could tell she'd planned all this. He slumped back into the sofa, and watched the scene in front of him.

'You moved on quickly,' Sirius noted, casually.

'You were getting with someone else before we had even broken up.'

'Fair point. I don't mind or anything, you're free to kiss whoever you like.'

'Well I'm glad I've had your _blessing_,' she said, sarcastically, before flouncing off.

Remus avoided Sirius' gaze, which he knew was fixed on him, until Sirius turned and left.

* * *

By the time Sirius got down to the Main Hall, James and Remus were already eating dinner.

'You know,' he said, grinning, as he took a seat next to James, 'out of all the girls you could get with, Moony, I wish you wouldn't choose one of my ex-girlfriends.'

'With your history, it's difficult not to,' James pointed out.

Remus said nothing, but stabbed angrily at his food.

'If you want to know, I just broke up with Sarah, so you can have a go with her as well if you want,' Sirius continued, trying to sound joking and casual, but failing.

Remus threw down his fork. 'You know what? I'm sick of being the one that everyone uses. Whenever anyone wants petty revenge, I'm always the one who seems to get hurt. But don't worry, it's not as if I have feelings or anything, obviously not, because I don't go around snogging the face off any girl who says hello to me.'

'That's not the impression I got last night,' Sirius murmured, his voice as cold as the snow falling outside.

'You just don't get it, do you Sirius?' With that, he grabbed his bag, stood up and marched out of the Great Hall, leaving Sirius and James looking bewildered.

'What the hell's up with him?' Sirius asked, finishing off some of Remus' left over yorkshire pudding.

James shrugged, 'Must be that time of the month.'

Laughing, Sirius piled food onto his own plate.

'Should we go after him?' James asked.

The watched as Sophie got up from her seat and walked swiftly out of the hall.

'Looks like someone else got their first,' Sirius replied, and James didn't think he imagined the bitterness in his tone.

* * *

'Remus! Wait!'

Remus heard footsteps behind him and knew someone was running towards him. He also knew who that person was.

'What is it, Sophie?' he asked in a monotone, not stopping or turning to look at her.

She grabbed his arm when she caught up, trying to stop him. When he defiantly kept walking, she said, 'Remus, I need to talk to you.'

Suddenly, Remus stopped, and angrily commanded, 'Go on then, talk.'

'Well…' Sophie couldn't think of what to say, but when Remus shook his head and carried on walking, said, 'I'm really sorry, Remus. I didn't think - I just wanted to…'

'Get back at Sirius?' Remus finished, resentfully. 'Well, don't worry, that's what I'm here for.'

'I'm really sorry Remus.' She genuinely was - she had never seen Remus use this tone before, so she knew she had hurt him.

'So you've said.' He kept walking, and when Sophie tried to stop him, he ran.

She gave up trying to follow him, but he carried on running, only stopping when he had reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Unwanted tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he stepped into the dark forest. What was the worst that could happen to him? Sure, the forest was filled with magical monsters that he'd heard stories about, but he was one as well, wasn't he?

Yes, he thought bitterly, I'm a monster.

Sometimes he just wished the werewolf had killed him, instead of passing on the curse. He was always terrified of forcing the misery on another during a full-moon. If it weren't for James and Sirius, he probably would have just given up on a normal life.

With a sigh, he remembered his outburst at Sirius, knowing that he'd been stupid. It wasn't exactly Sirius' fault that he kept getting hurt, was it?

Falling snow stung his skin with coldness but he didn't care.

It didn't help that the one person he did care about, didn't feel the same. With his luck, she probably fancied Sirius.

Everyone else did.

Even worse than that, Remus knew he could never get involved with her. It would be too dangerous. He had to spend everyday seeing her, knowing that he could never get close. Never be in love.

This was his life.

But with James' obsession for Lily, and Sirius' determination to get back together with Sophie, Remus would have to spend even more time with Livee. Maybe the feelings would wear off? Or maybe he'd just bury himself in schoolwork and try to forget; along with all the other feelings he covered up.

His clenched fists loosened, and he made his way back to the castle.

**A/N This chapter is more about Sophie, Sirius and Remus, mainly for a break in the Lily and James drama. Also because I like them. Please tell me what you think, even if it's negative :D**


	6. What? I like kissing him he's good!

As James entered the Charms room, Flitwick actually fell over.

'Something wrong, Professor?' James asked, halting the walk to his desk to help the small man to his feet.

'Potter, in the seven years you've been at this school, you've never once been on time to my lesson. What happened?'

James shrugged. 'I had no where to be.'

Remus stared at him as he sat down next to him. 'James, is this about Lily?'

'Is what about Lily?' James got out his wand.

Remus gave up.

Five minutes later, Sirius strolled in and took his seat, with a grin at Remus and James. Remus flicked a note to him:

**_James showed up on time. We've got to think of something quickly._**

Sirius winked at Remus and mouthed, 'I have a plan.'

* * *

Lily, Sophie and Livee were wandering around the grounds at lunch, feet crunching in the snow.

Christmas at Hogwarts was spectacular – the crystalline snow, the icicles that hung from the windowsills, the layers of frost on the castle roof. There was something magical about the atmosphere, and I don't mean the witches and wizards.

Lily sighed as she looked over the glittering layer of snow, deaf to the laughs of her friends, feeling at peace with the world…

Then a snowball hit her in the face.

Spluttering, she wiped off the freezing cold slush and whirled to find – who else – the Marauders falling about laughing from behind a bush.

'We'll see if you still find it so hilarious when you're DEAD!' she yelled, whipping out her wand. Some would say that was too drastic - but only people who hadn't been hit in the face with a snowball. Opting out of a life sentence in Azkaban, however, Lily enchanted a pile of snow near her feet to roll itself into a ball and fling itself at James.

'Hey!' he called, ducking out of the way. 'It was Sirius, not me!'

'DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?'

The snowball that had missed James now spun around in the air, and flew into the back of his head. Lily doubled over with laughter at the sight of James falling face down in the bush. When he'd clawed his way out, he clenched his fists and growled darkly, 'This means war.'

Seconds later, snowballs were flying everywhere – some charmed better than others – whacking into each other and their targets. The game ended when Sirius and James double-teamed to form one massive snowball which sent Lily, Sophie and Livee all to the floor. In revenge, Lily charmed a group of icicles to chase James and Sirius around the grounds.

Lily and her friends collapsed against a tree as they watched with delight the two boys running away from the pointed ice. Eventually, though, the missiles melted, allowing Sirius and James to pant over to their opponents.

'Don't forget, Potter, we have to plan the Yule Ball this week!' Lily called to James, as she and her two friends walked back in to go to their next lesson.

* * *

That evening, silently cursing her potions master, Sophie sat in the library with Sirius Black.

'Are you actually going to help at all with this project?' she demanded, throwing down her quill.

'Well,' Sirius grinned, leaning his chair back, 'you're doing such a good job by yourself.'

Resisting the urge to kick at one of the two chair legs still on the floor, Sophie sighed and picked up her quill again. Sirius leaned towards her, and her eyes widened when she realised he was going to kiss her. Turning her head, she looked firmly down at the table.

'And I think you should be a bit more quiet,' he whispered in her ear. 'We are in a library after all.'

'Oh,' was the only thing she could say back. So he wasn't going to kiss her – he was just going to whisper to her.

She flicked through the nearest book, ignoring the frantic beating of her heart. What was she going to do if he really did try to kiss her? Well, turn away, obviously, but should she be angry? Or should she just leave now. No, she needed to get this project done.

Sirius bent his head over the parchment, his head lightly colliding with hers as he read what she'd written. When she lifted her head to snap at him for it, she stopped suddenly when she realised his eyes were level with hers, just inches away. Oh Merlin, he was going to try something. She dropped her gaze back down to the parchment, denying him the opportunity.

An hour later, this was still going on. Sophie kept getting the impression Sirius was going to kiss her, and she kept turning away. It was making the project very difficult to concentrate on.

So when Sirius' face was close to hers for what seemed like the hundredth time, her resolve promptly jumped out of the window, and she didn't turn away. His eyes flickered down to her lips and back to her eyes, causing her to subconsciously move towards him slightly. All of a sudden, his lips were on hers, and the memories of his kisses came flooding back. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a small part of her brain was telling her to stop; the rest of her brain screamed at it to shut up.

She felt the touch of Sirius' hand on her cheek, and pulled away. Gently, she pressed her forehead against his shoulder, telling herself it didn't mean anything.

After that, she'd tried to get on with the project, but Sirius had other plans. It seemed that after going without her kisses for so long, he was going to make the most of them now.

* * *

So,' Lily smiled, nudging her friend, 'How did the homework go?'

With a groan, Sophie hid her face in her hands, 'It's a long story. Well, actually not that long. Just painful.'

'Go on,' Lily encouraged.

'Well it started off ok,' Sophie recounted, not daring to look at Lily, 'but then he started persistently trying to kiss me, and I kept having to turn away. But then…'

'…then…' Lily urged when Sophie paused.

'Well, I was like, what the hell. So then, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but we ended up kissing…'

'I hope you mean a short peck on the cheek.'

Sophie looked pained. 'Well, it depends on what you mean by peck. And cheek. And short.'

Lily's eyes widened. 'But what about…'

Sophie interrupted her, 'Yes I know Liv likes him, but I wasn't exactly thinking about her at the time.'

'No, you had other things on your mind,' Lily smirked.

'IT'S NOT FUNNY!'

'I'm sorry!' Lily laughed. 'So he still likes you?'

'Well yeah, but I knew that, because of the other night.'

'What happened the other night?'

'Oh bugger.'

'Sophie, what happened?'

'Well, he trapped me against the wall and asked me out, and so I kissed him.'

Lily raised one eyebrow.

'What? It was to prove a point. I told him afterwards that I'd never go out with him again, and that it was the last time I'd ever kiss him.'

'Well that turned out to be a lie.'

'Shut up. But now...' Sophie sighed, 'now, I don't know why, but he _might _have got the impression that I still have feelings for _him._'

Lily paused. 'Which you… don't?'

'No I do not.'

'Oh dear.'

'Exactly.'

'Couldn't you just say it was a spur of the moment thing? At the library, he kissed you, right? So reflex would be to kiss back'

'Well, I could, but we may have kissed…more than once.'

'SOPHIE!?'

'WHAT? I LIKE KISSING HIM HE'S GOOD!'

'So now you can't even play the "It was just an impulse" card.'

Sophie hit her head against the wall in frustration.

After a moments' thinking, Lily mused, 'Will he want to get back together with you?'

'Oh bugger, I never thought of that!'

Lily raised an eyebrow, 'You kiss someone who fancies you and don't consider that he may want you back?'

'Good point, well made.'

'What are you going to do?'

'I DON'T KNOW!' Sophie yelled.

'OK! Here are the facts: Your friend tells you she fancies your ex-boyfriend; a couple of hours later, you spend just two hours with him and kiss him (more than once).'

'Yeah, well anything sounds bad if you say it like that,' Sophie grumbled.

'Tell Liv what happened, and tell Sirius it meant nothing.'

'But that's the hard way!' Sophie moaned.

'It's the right way.'

'Same thing.'

'Do it as soon as possible.'

'FINE!'

Sophie stormed off to bed, wondering what the least hurtful way of explaining this would be.

* * *

'Where have you been Padfoot?' James asked from his comfortable spot on the sofa.

Sirius sauntered over and fell into the sofa beside him. 'Studying, old chap.'

'Who's the girl?' Remus asked.

'Why sir, how dare you suggest I would not perform schoolwork without a female present.'

'Because you wouldn't. And why are you talking like a snob?'

'Practicing, my dear fellow. And there may have been a girl involved. But not just any girl.'

'A clinically insane one if she chose to willingly study with you,' Remus muttered.

Casually throwing a pillow at Remus, Sirius replied, 'Actually, it was Sophie, if you must know.'

James and Remus stared at him.

'Stop staring at me!'

They continued to stare.

'Didn't she say that if you touched her again then she'd put a permanent end to the Black family line?'

'Since when did you have such a good memory?' Sirius snapped, then smiled slyly. 'Besides, she couldn't resist the Sirius Black charm for long.'

'You do know that love potions are illegal, don't you?'

'Very funny Prongs. But I can assure you, she definitely still feels something for me. It's only a matter of time before we're dating again.'

'If you say so,' Remus murmured, unconvinced.

* * *

Sophie sighed, her arms wrapped around her knees as she gazed over the lake. She had told Livee, who'd taken the news surprisingly well. She acted as if it didn't matter - after all, he was Sophie's ex-boyfriend. However, Sophie knew she was with Lily right now, talking about it.

There was only one person left to tell.

Sirius wouldn't be angry when she told him the kisses meant nothing, would he? He wouldn't be upset. He couldn't be. After all, he always kissed girls he didn't like. Surely he'd understand. Wouldn't he?

'Evening.'

Sophie yelped, scrambling to her feet, 'Merlin, you scared the hell out of me.'

Sirius grinned. 'Sorry. I'll let you have a moment to recover before I talk again.'

Sophie suddenly felt awkward. Now was the time to tell him it was meaningless. After a deep breath, she began: 'About last night...' She hesitated.

A slow smile spread across Sirius' face, and he took a step towards her. 'Yeah? What about it.'

'Well,' Sophie stammered, taking a step back, 'it was kind of, a, erm, a…'

'Don't tell me, it was a spur of the moment thing,' he guessed, taking another step forwards, 'you don't have any feelings for me at all, and you don't want to get back together with me?'

Sophie was stunned, but turned away from his eyes when she noticed the undeniable sadness in them that he was failing to hide. 'Well,' she took another step back, becoming aware of the rapidly decreasing distance between her and the lake, 'yeah.'

'I see.' Another step forwards.

'Was that what it was for you then?' she asked, hopefully, and of course, stepping back. She was now standing right at the edge of the bank, and couldn't move back any further.

'No.' He replied. He leaned towards her slightly, causing her to instinctively lean back. She lost her balance, flailing her arms for half a second. Before she fell from the bank, however, Sirius' strong arm gripped around her waist, not only stopping her fall, but leaving them very close. Too close. He murmured, 'That's not what it was for me at all.'

'Sirius, get off me!' she ordered, scared he was going to kiss her again.

After a pause, Sirius grunted, 'Fine,' before releasing her.

As he turned his back on her, he heard a squeal and the splash as she landed in the freezing water of the lake.

* * *

'There you are, Sophie. I've just got back from the meeting with James and – hang on, why are you soaking wet?'

Sophie glared at her, then said quietly, 'Are you going to just stand there, or is it too much trouble to do a drying spell so I can go and kill Black?'

Lily smiled, and did as she was told.

When Sophie was dry, she asked, 'So how was the meeting?'

'Hang on, I wanna know why you're wet first.'

'Ah. Well, long story short: I thought he was going to kiss me so I stepped into the lake.'

Lily gave her an odd look. 'Of course.'

'And I told him that the kiss didn't mean anything.'

'How did he take it?'

'I'm not sure.'

* * *

'Sirius, put the chessboard down, and step away from James,' Remus commanded.

'Sure, right after I smash it over his head,' Sirius replied, calmly.

'I'm not sure I deserve that.'

'I am. Don't you ever compare me and Sophie to you and Evans!'

James held up his hands, backing away slowly, but couldn't help smiling a little.

'STOP SMILING YOU BASTARD!'

'Sorry!'

Remus sighed, and made the chessboard disappear with a flick of his wand. With a glance at his watch, he ignored the fuming Sirius and spoke to James, 'You need to come to the Room of Requirement with me.'

Sirius stopped murmuring angrily and looked up at Remus. 'Is it that time already?'

James eyed Remus suspiciously. 'Why?'

'Just come with me.'

* * *

'Trust me, it's a good surprise,' Livee grinned as she led Lily up and down the corridor.

'I don't trust you,' Lily narrowed her eyes. 'And why the hell are we just walking backwards and forwards?' She gasped as a door appeared in the wall to her left.

Livee smiled with satisfaction, tugged open the door and shoved Lily inside. Lily was so shocked that she didn't have time to react before Remus dashed past her and shut the door, laughing. There was a mumble from outside and the door handle disappeared.

Lily cursed after she tried to open the door with Alohomora, without success. Giving up, she turned to see where she was. With a surprised scream, she noticed that James was standing at the other end of the room, looking as shocked as she was.

'Potter!' she yelled. 'What the hell is going on?'

'What makes you think I know?'

'You tricked me into coming here!'

'I did not!' he replied, indignantly.

Lily whirled around back to the door, shouting obscenities and death threats to Livee through the door. Pounding on it, she demanded to be let out. James watched her in silence, an unreadable expression on his face.

'Feel free to give me a hand whenever you like,' Lily snapped.

'What's the point?' James replied.

'I would quite like to get out, Potter.'

'And you think _that,_' he nodded in her direction, 'is going to help?'

'Well what do you suggest then?'

James smiled, slyly. 'I can think of many things we could do to keep us occupied.'

'In your dreams.'

'Frequently.'

'URGH!'

James raised an eyebrow,.'Calm down, I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere.' He leant casually against the wall, hands in his pockets, still watching Lily.

Lily, however, threw herself into one of the armchairs. 'Well don't.'

'I love it when you're angry.'

'Which is just as well, seeing as I usually am around you.'

'Yeah, I do seem to have that effect on you.'

'You say that like it's a good thing.'

James surveyed her – her emerald green eyes that glittered with anger, the curly hair that fell just past her shoulders, her slender figure and perfect face. He sighed.

'Shut up, Potter.'

* * *

Smiling in satisfaction, Livee leant against the door.

'We'll just leave them to work it out now.' She laughed.

'You realise James probably won't come out of that room whole, don't you?' Remus smiled.

'He'd better not mess this opportunity up.' After a pause, she said, 'Sophie's really sorry about using you.'

'Yeah, well,' Remus mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets, 'I hate that I'm only there to cause damage. I hate that I'm naïve enough to fall for it so often.'

'You're not naïve. You're male.'

Remus laughed.

* * *

'What? I didn't say anything.'

'You sighed.'

'I'm so sorry, your highness.'

There was a pause, then, 'Sorry, Potter, for snapping at you.'

'Huh?' James was shocked. Lily Evans? Apologising? To him?

'I'm just… frustrated that we're stuck in here. You didn't have anything to do with this?'

'Yes, this is my idea of a romantic time.'

'Potter…'

'No, I have no idea what's going on. Only that Remus and Livee have been plotting, and that's never a good thing.'

In the silence that followed, Lily looked at James properly for the first time in weeks. He was very tall, and, although she didn't like to admit it, very good-looking. What was she thinking? This was Potter! Although, she'd noticed this about him a lot more often recently…

James caught her eye, and she looked away quickly.

'Admiring me, Evans?' He smiled, slyly.

'No I am not, you arrogant prat.'

'I am not arrogant!'

'You are. You're arrogant and inconsiderate!'

James rolled his eyes. 'Why do we always end up with you throwing strings of insults at me?' he sighed, as if her words didn't affect him anymore.

'Because you deserve them.'

'Fine, then maybe it's about time I tell you some truths about yourself.'

'I'd love to hear this.'

'You're spiteful, thoughtless and prejudice!'

'I AM NOT!'

'You're fiery, unforgiving and shallow!'

'Yeah, unforgiving with good reason.'

James was counting each description on his fingers. '… superior, patronising, blind to the damage you cause…'

'I could say the same about you!'

'… you think you're so noble and righteous because you stick up for others, yet you do everything you say you hate…'

'Like what?'

'You hurt anyone you think is inferior, put down those who aren't worth your time…'

'Shut up, Potter.'

'You think that just because you're intelligent and beautiful that someone like me is below you!'

Lily was silent.

'You're hypocritical, cynical and heartless…'

'You should stop using such long words before you choke on one.'

James heard the hurt in her voice and stopped.

With angry defiance, she went to hit him, but he caught her wrist.

'Stop it, Evans.'

'Get off me!'

James held onto her, when she pulled her arm back, she pulled him with it. His face was inches from hers.

'So, if I'm all those things, why don't you leave me alone?'

'Because, Lily, I love you in spite of those things,' he whispered. 'In fact, I love you because of them.'

Although James loosened his grip on her wrist, she didn't pull away. Nor did she stop him when his other hand went to her waist. Her mind was in shock.

He moved closer, glancing down at her lips then back up to her captivating green eyes. She could feel his breath on her skin; she closed her eyes…

**AN: ... and... cliffhanger! Woah this chapter is long, I couldn't find a good place to split it but I'm sure you won't mind too much. Please review! Constructive critisism is very welcome.**


	7. I'm supposed to hate you

James' lips almost brushed hers, when there was a noise from outside. Footsteps. The sound woke Lily from her trance, and she whirled away from James seconds before the door was opened. She pushed past Remus and Sophie, and ran down the corridor.

'You bastard, Remus,' James muttered, before sprinting after her.

Remus turned to Livee. 'What did I do?' he asked, as he watched James disappear around a corner.

Livee smiled. 'I think we may have interrupted something important.'

'Oh Merlin,' Remus murmured. 'He's so going to kill me.'

'But if it wasn't for us then they wouldn't have got into something that we could interrupt.. if that makes sense.'

Remus laughed. 'I suppose you're right.'

'Of course I am.'

'Of course.' Smiling, Remus looked at her, until the silence and the eye contact lasted too long for comfort.

'Anyway,' Livee breathed, suddenly embarrassed, 'I'd better get back to the heads' common room, to see if Lily's back there yet.'

'Oh, yes, of course.' Remus smiled sheepishly. 'I should go to Gryffindor tower. The last time I saw Sirius, he was trying to kill James with a chessboard. Who knows what's happened since then.'

Livee's smiled disappeared. 'Oh yeah,' she said quietly, 'I'd forgotten about that.'

'See you at dinner?'

'Yeah.'

* * *

Oh Merlin, Lily thought, what the hell just happened? She'd almost kissed Potter, that's what had happened. Her vision blurred, but she kept running. Her heart thumped in her chest, thoughts flying through her mind. Blind to where she was going, she found herself at the stairs to the Astronomy tower where she'd unconsciously escaped to.

James sprinted after Lily, but every time he caught sight of her, she turned another corner. Eventually he arrived at the Astronomy Tower, and almost flew up the stairs. When he pushed open the wooden door to the room, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Lily stood at the window, elbows resting on the stone window-sill as she cried. The tears that slid down her cheeks glistened in the moonlight, the wind danced through her hair.

'Lily?' he said, softly.

She ignored him, so he went to stand beside her, uncertainly. He didn't know how to deal with crying girls.

Memories of the last time they were here together flashed trough his mind; her words still hurt him.

She seemed to have remembered the same thing, and she sobbed, 'I'm sorry about all the things I said. I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you… I thought you wouldn't get hurt. You're James Potter, after all, always happy, never giving up.'

'Yeah, well…'

She looked up at him. 'Why don't I hate you? I'm supposed to hate you.'

'Are you crying because you don't hate me?' he asked, frowning.

'No! I just… I'm so sorry, for everything…and… I should go… I… you…' She sighed, and turned to go. James grabbed her arm and spun her back around to face him.

'Lily?'

'Yes?'

'Shut up.'

With that, he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers. Lily's breath caught in her throat; she was kissing James Potter. Her sworn enemy. The boy she'd rejected on a weekly basis for the last six years. And she was enjoying it.

He ran a hand through that hair that had taunted him for so long, savouring the taste of her lips, then let it rest on her neck. He pulled her closer, not wanting what he'd dreamed of to end. The hand that still held her arm slid down to interlock his fingers with hers.

Lily was pressed gently back against the wall, allowing his tongue into her mouth. She pushed her fingers through his black hair, the way he always did that used to irritate her so much. Held against his body, she felt… safe. Like she belonged. What a cliché, she told herself, but it was true.

When he eventually pulled away, he was grinning.

'You know, James,' she said, with a smile, 'after all this time and with your reputation and all, I expected you to be a better kisser.'

James raised an eyebrow, and kissed her again.

'Better?' he asked, when he was done.

'It was average. I've had better,' she lied. In truth, he was amazing, and she could hardly think when he kissed her, but she wouldn't want to swell his ego… 'I think you should try again.'

Laughing, James saluted and obeyed her. Not that it was much trouble.

* * *

'There you are, Sirius.'

'Where else would I be?' he grumbled.

Remus sat down next to him. 'You never told me exactly what happened with Sophie.'

'Oh it went wonderfully.' Sirius took a swig from the bottle of Butterbeer that was held loosely in his hand.

'What did she say?'

Sirius was silent for a second, staring into the fire. Then he replied in a low voice, 'She said she doesn't have any feelings for me, and that she never wants to get back together with me.'

'Oh. What did you say to that?'

'I dropped her in the lake.'

Remus nodded slowly. 'Well, it's original, I'll give you that.'

Dropping his head into his hand, Sirius sighed. 'I hate this, Remus.'

'Well, it's the first time you've ever been rejected, it's bound to hurt.'

'No. You don't understand. I don't hate that I was rejected as much as I hate how I feel.'

'What do you mean?' Remus frowned.

'The problem is that I _care _that I was rejected.'

'And… that's a bad thing?'

Sirius sat up. 'Yes it's a bad thing. I've never cared in this way. She's just a girl, there are hundreds of them here. But I don't want any of them. I want Sophie.'

Remus patted his shoulder. 'I believe this is what's called "growing up".'

'Oh Merlin, I had a horrible feeling that's what it was.'

'Well, there is _some_ good news. Well, good depending on how you look at it.'

'What's that.'

'James and Lily haven't got back yet.'

Sirius grinned. 'Maybe our good friend Prongs is finally getting some loving.'

'It's possible. Either that or Lily's hexed him.'

'I bloody hope it's the first option. Maybe that'll get rid of the poker that's been stuck up his arse recently.'

* * *

'Is there a particular reason you're blocking the corridor, Black, or have you decided your head's too big to fit through the door?' Sophie asked pleasantly, when she'd pushed her way through the crowd. Predictably, the Marauder's were the cause of the traffic on the way to the Great Hall for dinner.

James caught Lily's eye, who smiled and turned away. No one knew exactly what had happened in the Astronomy Tower yet, even though Sirius and Remus had a pretty good idea by James' permanent smile when he'd eventually returned to the Common Room.

Sophie glared at Sirius, all feelings of guilt for getting his hopes up had disappeared at about the same time she had hit the water.

'The fact that the door has somehow been locked has nothing to do with us, we're just innocent bystanders,' Sirius assured her.

'Why do I not believe you? Oh yeah, because you're a lying, cheating bastard.'

Remus, who was leaning casually against a wall, smiled slightly.

'That really hurt, Sophie,' Sirius said, smiling, 'but I've said sorry a million times. Can't you just forgive me? How many more times do I have to say it?'

'At least once more,' Sophie replied, turning to go back.

Sirius grabbed her arm. 'Wait. I know you want to go back out with me.'

Sophie slowly turned back around to face him, eyes flashing. 'I can assure you, I wouldn't want to put myself through the torture of going out with you.'

With a trademark Sirius Black smile, he murmured, 'That's not what you said in the library.'

Angry that he'd brought that up, Sophie smiled and leaned closer to him. 'That is because,' she said, 'it was impossible while you were attached to my face the whole time.'

'You and I both know that you enjoyed kissing me.'

She laughed. 'I endured those "kisses" because I thought you were worth it. Obviously I was wrong. And by the way: you're a terrible kisser.'

Sirius looked shocked, everyone knew he was a great kisser, how dare she deny it?

'So why don't you toddle off to find another victim to go out with, because I would rather snog a stink-worm, than date you again.'

'What?'

With a sigh as if teaching a very stupid child, Sophie said slowly, 'I will never make the mistake of going out with you again. I've never loved you. I never will. Would you like me to write it down for you? Wait, that would be a waste of time, I don't have the time to teach you to read. Goodbye.'

Sirius stood there, stunned, watching her disappear down the corridor. When he could speak again, he muttered in an awed but horrified voice, 'Oh shit. I love her.'

James laughed. 'She sure knows how to rip a guy's heart out.'

'I know,' Sirius replied, in admiration. 'Amazing isn't it. Does anyone else find that a massive turn-on?'

'Whatever floats your boat, Padfoot.' Remus laughed. 'Just be careful not to turn this into another James and Lily.'

James shot him a look, but Sirius shook his head and said, 'Lily would never have been that cruel. And I'll never make an arse of myself like James did.'

'Thanks.' James smiled, sarcastically.

Remus ignored him. 'You don't have to, looks like Sophie will do it for you. Now can we go to dinner?'

* * *

Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet at dinner, which amused James no end.

'How ironic,' he grinned, 'after all those times you made fun of me when Lily rejected me, now it's _you _that's been rejected. I think that's called karma.'

'Piss off and die.'

'Ouch,' James laughed. 'She's really getting to you, isn't she.'

'You're not getting much action from Lily, are you, so shut up.'

'Well actually,' James smiled secretively, 'thanks to Remus here… Remus… Remus!'

'Huh? What?' Remus stammered, turning to James.

Leaning around his friend, James tried to see what Remus had been looking at. 'Well, well, well,' he murmured. 'Moony, I'd never have guessed.'

'Guessed what?'

'Don't act innocent. You were staring at Livee.'

'No I wasn't,' he lied.

James smirked.

'Stop smirking,' Remus grumbled. 'I'm going back to the common room.'

Sirius grunted and grabbed his bag to join Remus. Laughing, James followed them.

* * *

'Black, get over here for a second!' Lily called over to him as she stepped through the portrait hole. She carefully avoided meeting James' gaze.

Sirius jumped up from the sofa and strode over to her. 'I'm sorry Lily, I can't go out with you, it would hurt James too much,' he grinned.

'Shut up. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Sort of.'

Sirius frowned. 'Lily, I was joking.'

'I know, it's not about you and me, it's about you and Sophie.'

'Is she ok?'

Lily paused, looking slightly shocked.

'What?' Sirius asked, confused.

'Sorry, you just seem… I don't know. I guess I'm not used to seeing you care about someone.'

'Who said I cared about her?'

Lily sighed, then continued, 'Anyway. What's going on with you two?'

Leaning back against the wall, Sirius replied, 'Ask her. One minute she's all over me, the next she "doesn't have any feelings for me", and the next she's yelling at me in corridors. I just don't know what to do anymore.'

'How about you don't cheat on her?' Lily suggested.

'Yeah yeah.'

'Or don't drop her in the lake?'

'She told me to let go of her, so I did,' he grumbled.

'I really shouldn't be telling you this, but the reason she felt so guilty about what happened in the library is because… well… one of her friends fancies you. She doesn't want to hurt her.'

Sirius took a step back, asking nervously, 'It's not you, is it?'

'No!' Lily exclaimed, indignantly.

'Oh God, please tell me it's not Martin.'

Laughing, Lily said, 'I wish. She wouldn't care if it was anyway, he's not really our friend anymore.'

'Oh?'

'He pissed off when Sophie went out with you.'

'Jealousy is a horrible emotion,' Sirius grinned proudly. 'Then who fancies me?'

Lily looked uncomfortable. 'It doesn't matter. The point is, I think Sophie may still have feelings for you.'

Sirius' eyes lit up. 'Really? I mean, well, of course she does. But, where is she?'

Lily smiled. 'She went to bed. Don't do anything stupid.'

'As if I would.'

After raising an eyebrow, Lily turned and went back through the portrait hole. Before she'd even reached the end of the corridor, a familiar voice called her name. Smiling unwillingly, she turned to see James running towards her.

'They're going to guess something's going on,' she protested as he reached her.

'I don't care,' he replied, pulling her closer.

'Well I do,' she tried to say, but he cut her off by kissing her.

When he was satisfied, he pulled away and asked, 'So what was going on with you and Sirius?'

Lily looked dazed. '…What?'

James smirked.

'Shut up. And why don't you ask Sirius yourself?'

'Because I'd prefer to look at you than Sirius.'

'Well that's a shame then isn't it, because I have to go and warn Sophie about Sirius knowing...'

'Well that's a shame then isn't it, because I won't let you.' He grinned, dragging her towards their own Common Room.

'James!' Lily laughed. 'We can't!' Although, admittedly, she didn't seem to be trying very hard to get away.

'Sophie can wait.'

As soon as they were through the portrait hole, his lips were on hers, and any thoughts of Sophie were banished from Lily's mind.

**AN: Yay! The story doesn't end here though, something's bound to go wrong now they're happy together. Isn't it always the way? **


	8. I said I'm fine!

'Morning Sophie,' Sirius smiled.

'Morning Black.' Sophie sat down next to Lily and Livee. 'Morning guys.'

'Hey, Sophie,' Livee said, as if she'd just remembered something. 'McGonagall says Dumbledore wants to see you in his office. And that he likes Lime Lollies, whatever significance that has.'

Sophie frowned. 'What does he want me for?'

Livee shrugged.

'Want us to come with you?' Lily asked avoiding meeting James' gaze which she knew was on her.

'No thanks, I'll go now. I'm not hungry anyway.'

'Okay.'

Sophie picked up her bag and left the Great Hall.

* * *

Sophie swore under her breath, wiping away stray tears and taking deep breaths. Trying to look casual, she opened the door to the potions room, keeping her head low as she moved to her seat.

'Why are you so late?' Lily whispered.

'I was with Dumbledore,' Sophie grumbled, before taking a seat beside her.

'Yeah, I know that, but what did he want?'

'Oh, just wanted to know how you and James were getting on as Heads,' she lied, retrieving her quill and parchment from her bag.

Lily eyed her suspiciously, but decided not to pursue it.

Absently, Sophie wrote the date in the top corner of the parchment, although she knew she wouldn't be able to take any notes. She could barely concentrate on underlining it straight. The news was so sudden – so unexpected. Not that knowing in advance would have made it any better. She'd always been worried about it, but it had never crossed her mind that they would actually…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Sirius trying to get her attention.

'Sophie!' he whispered.

She turned to see him, 'What?'

'Are you alright?'

'I'm fine.'

'You look like you've been crying…'

'Sirius, I said I'm fine.'

'Are you sure? If anything's –'

'I SAID I'M FINE!' she shouted.

Sirius looked taken aback. 'Sorry, I was just trying to -'

'Trying to butt in where you're not wanted?'

'Hey, I'm only trying to be a good friend.'

'I DON'T WANT YOU AS MY FRIEND!'

Professor Slughorn interrupted their argument. 'What's going on?'

Neither replied.

'Detention tonight, both of you, at eight, for disrupting my potions lesson. Now sit down and be quiet.'

Sophie glared at Sirius, but took her seat and picked up her quill. The rest of the lesson passed in silence.

Lily frowned as she looked over at Sophie; she'd been quiet all day. Whatever had happened in Dumbledore's office had obviously upset her, but she wouldn't tell anyone what was really going on. It was a very worrying thing if Sophie cried – it didn't happen often.

Her gaze drifted to James. He wanted to let everyone know they were a couple, but Lily still had doubts. She still worried about how they'd break up, still believed he'd hurt her in some way. Sighing, she rested her chin in her hand, watching James doodle on the edge of his parchment. As if he knew she was watching, he glanced up and caught her eye. A smile drifted onto his face, and Lily couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

'Let's just get this over and done with so that I don't have to spend any more time with you than necessary,' Sophie snapped, grabbing a sponge and dropping to her knees on the floor.

'Exactly what I was going to suggest,' Sirius muttered back.

Sophie couldn't believe she was stuck in detention with him, washing the floor of the Great Hall Gazing around the room, she sighed as she realised how long they would be there. Slapping the sponge angrily against the stone floor, she started scrubbing. They went on for a few minutes in tense silence, before Sirius broke it.

'What did Dumbledore want to see you about? What did he say to upset you?'

'None of your business,' Sophie murmured, bitterly.

Sirius sighed. 'Have you told Lily, at least?'

'No.'

'You should. It's unhealthy to keep everything bottled up and – what are you doing?'

Eyes swimming with unshed tears, Sophie marched to his bucket, throwing the water at Sirius before he had time to react.

He held out his arms, looking down at his soaking robes, mouth open with shock. When he looked back up at Sophie, he growled, 'You're going to regret that.' Grabbing her bucket, he returned the attack, smiling with satisfaction at her dripping form.

Sophie noticed him reaching for his wand and did the same. He pointed it at himself, about to use the drying spell, but before he could, Sophie disarmed him with a mutter of, 'Expelliarmus.'

'Do you mind?' I'm trying to dry myself!' he complained, reaching over to pick up his wand again, which was lying in a puddle five feet away from him. Sophie muttered another spell under her breath, which caused him to fall face first into the wet, cold, stone floor.

Eyes narrowed, he grabbed his wand, got to his feet and pointed his wand at Sophie, 'Aguamenti!'

A jet of water shot from his wand at Sophie, who called out, 'Impervius!' causing the water to be repelled.

She sneered at Sirius, 'You're going to have to do better than that.'

Sirius glared at the now water-resistant Sophie, who was thinking of another spell she could use against him. He took a step towards her.

'Impedimenta!' she yelled, sending him to the ground.

'Leviorpus!' Sirius grunted from where he was struggling to his feet, laughing at Sophie who was now hanging from mid-air by her ankle.

She muttered the counter curse, allowing herself to fall to the floor, where she called, 'Stupefy!' but Sirius merely stepped out of the way of the curse.

'Missed me,' he taunted

'Indendio!' she retorted, sending blue flames in Sirius' direction. With a yelp, he jumped out of their way.

Crying out in frustration, Sophie threw down her wand and charged at him. She lashed out at him, punching and kicking, while he tried to block her hits. He grabbed her wrists to stop her, and she paused for a moment when their eyes met. Before she could attack him again, he kissed her.

Sophie froze, but then kissed him back, and the tears which had been been on the brink of falling since the potions lesson spilled onto her cheeks.

'What's wrong?' Sirius whispered.

'My,' Sophie sniffed, 'my parents, they were Aurors. They're – they're dead.'

Sirius stepped back, 'What happened?'

'V-v-voldemort k-killed them.'

Shit, Sirius thought, this was serious. He didn't know how to handle serious. Words failing him, he just wrapped his arms around her, letting her rest her head against his shoulder.

* * *

'So Sophie hasn't told you what happened yet?' Remus frowned, leaning back into the sofa.

'No.' Livee sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. 'It's not a very Sophie thing to do – crying I mean – so it must be bad.'

'What are you gonna do?'

'Wait for her to open up, I guess. I hope she's alright though.'

'She's a strong person, I'm sure whatever it is she'll get through it.'

Livee dropped her head onto his shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut. 'Yeah.'

'The detention with Sirius should have been interesting.'

Laughing, Sophie replied, 'Yeah, I hope he hasn't done anything to make it worse.'

'He'll probably try to get with her.'

' He still hasn't given up on her then?'

'Nope. Apparently she only doesn't want to go out with him because her friend fancies him. At least, that was his version of what Lily told him, so it's probably exaggerated a lot.'

Livee looked up at him, eyes wide. 'Lily told him that? Who did she say fancies him?'

'She didn't say. But half the school does so it's not going to hold him back.' Remus frowned slightly. 'Are you ok?'

Turning away, Livee blushed slightly. 'I'm fine,' she assured him.

Remus stared at her, then took a deep breath and stated quietly, 'It's you, isn't it?'

'Erm, well,' Livee began.

'I should have guessed.'

'Sorry, but…'

Remus cut her off. 'No. It's fine. You can fancy whoever you want. I'm… I'm going to bed.'

His smile was fake as he gathered his books and turned towards the stairs.

'Remus, I don't think I do anymore,' Livee tried to say, but he'd already disappeared into the boys' dormitory.

Livee collapsed back into the sofa just as Sophie ran into the Common Room, wiping tears from her eyes, and disappeared up the stairs to her dorm. Sirius dashed into the room, just in time to see her climb the stairs.

'Sophie! Wait!' he called out, but was just met with a string of swear words. He stood at the foot of the stairs for a while, before sighing and going up to his own room, throwing himself onto his bed.

'Detention go well?' Remus asked, pleasantly.

Sirius glared at him.

* * *

Deciding it was a good idea to find Lily and James, Livee left through the portrait hole. Rubbing her eyes, she strode quickly towards the Heads' common room, trying to think of why Sophie could be this upset. She hadn't been friends with her for long, but she knew this was unlike her. It was funny how Sophie's mood affected everyone else's.

Livee turned a corner, staring at the ground to avoid meeting anyone's eyes. Although relatively new, being friends with Lily, Sophie and the Marauders meant that she'd quickly become well known, and it was rare for her to walk down a corridor without being stopped to greet someone. But right now, she didn't want to be noticed, she just wanted to find James and Lily as quickly as possible.

When she arrived outside their common room, she hesitated. She knew the password, and they'd told her to go in whenever she liked, but she didn't want to intrude…

Like everyone else, she had a suspicion that the two of them were more than just friends now – the secret glances, the fact that Lily hadn't bitten his head off for a while and James' permanent smile were all hints – and she didn't want to walk in on them making out or anything.

Taking a deep breath, she whispered the password and stuck her head through the portrait-hole.

'Oh, hey Livee,' Lily smiled, looking up from the book she was reading, curled up on the sofa.

James sauntered down the stairs from his bedroom, grinning at Livee as he took a seat next to Lily.

'You need to get to the common room, now,' Livee instructed.

James frowned. 'What's going on?'

'Sophie's crying again, and Sirius isn't happy either.'

'Oh yes, the detention.' James ran a hand through his hair. 'Looks like we're both needed.'

Lily stood up, biting her lip. 'Has Sophie told you anything about it?'

'Not yet.'

James moved to the door, and asked, looking uncomfortable, 'Is… erm… is Sirius, um, crying?'

Sophie looked confused. 'No.'

James sighed in relief. 'Oh thank Merlin, I'd probably have killed myself.'

'Let's just get up there before we consider suicide.'

* * *

James jumped onto the bed beside Sirius.

Sirius groaned, 'Oh great, the whole gang's been called together.'

Remus laughed. 'We're your friends, Padfoot, it's what we're here for.'

'And there was me thinking you were just here for me to blame things on.'

'Except you're usually the one to blame.' James grinned.

There was a pause, before Remus asked gently, 'So what happened with Sophie?'

'I just don't understand her,' he grumbled. 'She's so secretive – she won't let anyone get too close to her. She's trustworthy, but untrusting. It seems like she's scared of getting hurt, but instead of being shy she just puts up a wall around her, to protect her and to hide her emotion. Which is crap because it means I never know what the hell she's thinking.'

James stared at him. 'What?'

Sighing, Sirius explained, 'I think she sees fear and hurt and crying as weakness, and resents it. I think that's why she doesn't talk about stuff to us. Which is why when she does cry, it scares me so bloody much.'

'Yeah.' James nodded. 'I know what you mean there. It scares the hell out of me whenever any girl cries, but with Sophie it's just… I dunno, it's like something _really _bad must have happened.'

'But anyway, it's very annoying because I care.' He dropped his head into his hands. 'She's unforgiving, ruthless, intolerant, violent, unpredictable, scary, powerful, complex, controlling… but she's so different without the wall. Off-guard, she's even more wonderful.'

Remus and James were silent. Partly to let him speak, and partly out of shock.

'It seems like she knows me,' Sirius continued. 'Like, when she looks at me, it's so intense; I feel like… like she's seeing right through me. I can't lie to her, I can't hide anything from her – but I don't want to. It's like she completely understands me.

'Is that a good thing?' James asked.

'Well, yes, because I never have to explain myself to her. But it can be a bad thing.'

'What do you mean?'

'I never know what she's thinking but she always knows what I am, which means she constantly has the upper hand. Merlin, I sound like a complete loser. I just miss her so much. I love that she stands up to me, I love that she knows me, understands me. I love that she's so funny, and fun to be with. I love that I can be me around her. I love arguing with her, even though she always wins. I love how unpredictable she is - like, one moment she'll just be grumpy but the next she's shooting fire at me. I love that she's so perfect for me. I love that she can read my mind…'

'Really? That freaks me out,' James murmured.

'Hang on,' Remus sat forward, 'she threw fire at you?'

* * *

'Yeah,' Sophie sighed. 'I don't know why, but I was so angry, and I had to release my anger somehow… I guess he was there, so I used him as an outlet.'

Lily sat down next to her on the bed. 'What did you do?'

'Well, we were both pretty angry to start with, and he just kept asking me if I was ok…'

* * *

'… I was just trying to find out what was wrong!' Sirius grumbled. 'But then she got all pissed off at me and threw a bucket of water at me.'

'Yeah, I was wondering why you were soaking wet.' James glanced down at the dripping robes.

Sirius absently used his wand to dry himself. 'So obviously I threw one back. It was only fair.' He sighed. 'So anyway, we started throwing spells at each other, but I kept dodging hers. She got so frustrated that she just…'

* * *

'…charged at him. All the anger about losing my parents, from being so helpless, for everything… I just wanted to let it out on him.'

'Sounds painful.'

Sophie smiled slightly, 'Well he didn't seem to enjoying it.'

'Carry on,' Livee prompted, after a pause.

* * *

'… Of course I didn't hit her back! I just tried to block her hits. I had to hold her arms still so she would stop.'

'And did she?'

'Well yeah, because I... I...'

* * *

'…kissed me.'

'What?'

* * *

'WHAT?'

'I kissed her,' Sirius repeated.

'Then why are you still alive?' James demanded.

Sirius shrugged. 'She let me. And then she told me. She told me…'

* * *

'…What I told you just now, about my… my parents. So he hugged me. And everything seemed to be so much better. All my anger had gone, I just felt numb. We just stood there, for ages, until I realised what was happening, and I…'

* * *

'…Ran off. I chased after her, but she went into the dorms, and then I told you.'

Remus and James were silent for a second, before Remus said, 'Wow.'

'Bloody Merlin.'

* * *

Sophie sighed. 'So that's what happened. And now you know what Dumbledore told me, so can I go to sleep yet?'

'Are you feeling better then?'

'Well, yeah. I mean, I'm still upset by my parent dying, of course, but… I've just got to accept it. I didn't see them that much anyway, only the six week summer holiday…'

Livee frowned. 'It's ok to be upset about it.'

'Yeah, I know, and I am. But I can't let it get in my way. I'm worried about him coming after me, but it's not likely, is it?'

'I wouldn't think so.'

Sophie looked at her hands in silence, then went to bed.

Livee and Lily exchanged glances.

'That girl,' Lily whispered, 'is not normal.'

**AN: So this is what happens while Lily and James are being all happy an in love. Sorry if the last section was difficult to understand, when I kept switching between to Sirius and Sophie telling the story, but i wanted to show all the reactions. Only a couple of chapters left! Please review.**


	9. You're lying

Remus met Livee in the Gryffindor common room the next morning. When he came downstairs at six - after waking up early and not being able to get back to sleep - he found her already down there, sitting on the sofa, writing in a book.

He was about to turn back around and return to his dormitory when she called out, 'What are you doing up so early?'

'I couldn't sleep,' he explained. 'What about you?'

Livee shrugged. 'I always get up early. To write in this.' She gestured the book.

'What is it?' Remus asked, approaching the sofa.

'Just a diary.' She closed it, dropped it on the floor by her feet and told him to sit down. He did as she had asked, feeling both a little awkward and also still quite sleepy. She shuffled closer to him and started to say, 'About last night...'

Remus looked away but she turned his head to look at her with a hand on his cheek. Although she started to speak again, all Remus could think about was how close their faces were andf how her hand was touching his face. Unable to stop himself, he kissed her briefly on the lips. When he pulled away he kept his eyes closed for a moment as his sleepy brain registered what had just happened. Half-smiling, he stood up and returned to his dormitory, leaving a bewildered Livee alone on the sofa.

* * *

That day, Sophie decided to use her lunch time concentrating on getting some work done, mainly because it would mean she didn't have to face anyone. She scribbled out the last sentence she'd just written on the essay. She was getting nowhere. Sighing, she threw down the quill.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to jump.

'What the hell? Oh, it's just you.'

'Good afternoon, Miss Sophie,' he grinned.

'What do you want Sirius?'

'Why, I wish for nothing more than the pleasure of your company. Care to take a walk with me?'

Sophie smiled apologetically. 'Sorry, but I'm really into this essay.'

Sirius looked pointedly at the parchment which had more words crossed out than not, and raised an eyebrow. 'Evidently.'

'Ok, I lied, you caught me.' She smiled. 'The reason I can't come is that I don't want to.'

Innocently, Sirius said, 'Well then, I suppose you'll never know what Lily told me, then'

Her eyes narrowed. 'What did Lily say?'

'Walk with me, and I'll tell you,' he stated, pleasantly.

Muttering under her breath, Sophie stood up, deciding to leave her bag there in case she needed an excuse to escape. 'Fine. I'll give you ten minutes.'

'A lot can happen in ten minutes,' Sirius grinned.

'Why did you really want to bring me out here.'

Sirius sighed, 'Fine, I'll get to the point. I need to ask you something.'

'Oh dear,' Sophie muttered.

Ignoring her, Sirius continued, 'As you know, the Christmas Ball is coming up, and I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me.'

'No.'

Sirius frowned. 'Why not?'

'Because we're not dating anymore, and knowing you, you probably have ulterior motives.'

'Like what?' Sirius demanded, indignantly.

'Like: it may be a big plot to humiliate me for revenge.'

'It's nice to know you think highly of me,' Sirius said sarcastically. 'Is it impossible for you to think I might actually just want to go with you?'

'Yes. And anyway, why would I go to the ball with you?'

'The pleasure of my company?'

Sophie stopped walking and raised an eyebrow at him. 'Why do you really want to go with me?'

'Because I _bloody_ love you, Sophie, you idiot!' he shouted in frustration.

Sophie's eyes widened. 'What?'

'I love you!' he said again.

'Since when?' she stammered, shocked.

'Since…' He paused to think. 'Since… do you remember that day we all had a snowball fight, and you tripped over and landed in the snow and when I laughed at you, you threw a rock at me?'

'Yes,' Sophie breathed.

'Since then. You looked so beautiful and happy that day, and no girl has ever thrown a rock at me before. That's when I fell in love with you!' He was talking to himself more than her now. 'I can't believe I haven't noticed until now. It was so obvious.'

'So...' Sophie blinked. 'So why did you cheat on me?'

Sirius' smile vanished. 'Because I'm a stupid arse, and I'm so sorry. I was scared of loving you. I've never felt like… like…' Instead of finishing the sentence, he chose to lower his head and kiss her.

Sophie's mind was reeling – a situation not helped by Sirius' expert mouth on hers. She raised her arms to his neck as he pulled her closer. Forgetting about the bitter winter breeze, they only focussed on each other.

Reluctantly, Sirius pulled away.

'I love you too,' she whispered against his lips.

She felt him smile.

'Does that mean you'll go to the ball with me?'

'I'll think about it,' she laughed.

'Ok.' He paused. 'Decided yet?'

'There is nothing I would like better than to accompany you to the ball.'

'Well who am I to deny you happiness?'

* * *

Livee sat down next to Remus at the Gryffindor table. 'Where is everyone?'

'James thinks I don't know he's with Lily and Sirius is on a mission to find Sophie so I'm all on my own now.'

'Awww, poor Remus.'

Remus rested his chin in his hand. 'Yeah.'

'They have such weird relationships,' Livee commented. 'It must be weirder for you though, seeing as you've known them for years.'

'Yeah.' Remus nodded. 'I never expected Lily to give in to James. As as for Sophie and Sirius... well, they're just basically both rubbish at relationships.'

'What about you, Remus, are you rubbish at relationships?'

Remus shrugged. 'I've never had one.'

'What?' Livee sounded genuinely surprised. 'But anyone who doesn't fancy Sirius of James fancies you.'

'Exactly,' he muttered. Third choice...

She realised her mistake and said quickly, 'No, I didn't mean it like that.'

'I know,' Remus smiled but didn't look at her.

After a pause she said quietly, 'About Sirius...'

'Yeah, I need to go to my Charms lesson now,' Remus interrupted and started to stand up.

'Remus!' she called, but he had already left.

* * *

'Why not?' James demanded.

'I don't have to explain myself to you,' Lily replied, folding her arms across her chest.

'Yes you do!' James paused, then sighed, running a hand through his hair. 'Are you ashamed of me, Lily?'

'No! No, I just...' She rubbed her eyes. 'I just don't want to… I don't want everyone knowing yet.'

'Why not?'

'Because if no one knows that we're together, then no one will be able to say "I told you so" when you ditch me!' Lily finally replied.

James looked shocked. 'You still think I'm gonna screw this up?' he asked, his voice quiet and hurt.

'I just don't want to be publicly humiliated, that's all.'

'I can't believe you still think I'm a bastard.'

'I don't!'

'Then why can't you accept that I love you?'

'Just… urgh,' Lily gave up and went to her Charms lesson.

'Well it's wonderful to see you guys,' Sirius beamed as he dropped into his seat next to James. Remus and Lily, who were sitting on the desk next to them glanced up at him.

James eyed him suspiciously. 'Why are you so happy?'

'Why?' Sirius repeated. 'Because it's a beautiful day! Christmas is just around the corner. And Sophie loves me.'

'She actually said that?' Lily exclaimed, disbelief in her voice.

'Why is that so hard to believe?' Sirius demanded.

'Well, you just don't seem like someone that she would love.'

'You are very, very arrogant,' Remus pointed out.

James nodded and added, 'And you cheated on her.'

'Yeah well,' Sirius waved their comments away, 'you're opinions don't count because you're wrong.'

'Congratulations,' Remus mumbled.

Sirius frowned. 'What's wrong with _you?_'

'Nothing.'

'Did Livee reject you?' Sirius asked, bluntly.

Remus looked up at him. 'No? What are you on about?'

'Well you clearly fancy the pants off her.'

'No I don't.'

Patting him on the shoulder, Sirius smiled and said, 'Okay, Remus, okay.'

'Piss off.'

Sirius turned to James, looking outraged. 'Remus just told me to piss off!

'Good.'

* * *

The next time Remus saw Livee was after dinner, when she found him in the library. He had gone there to finish some homework - and because Sirius and James were busy in detention for turning all the corridors on the second floor into lawns. He had sat there for an hour, thinking over what an idiot he had been. He couldn't believe he had kissed her. She fancied Sirius, for Christ's sake. True, she hadn't slapped him or anything, but he hadn't kissed him back. He hadn't really given her much of a chance to react, actually...

He looked up, startled, when he heard her say his name.

'Hi Livee,' he greeted her, before returning to his work.

Livee sighed and closed the book he was reading from. 'I need to talk to you.'

'I'm quite busy right now,' he replied, unwilling to talk to her at that moment. He picked up his quill and started to write more on the parchment but Livee took his hand and pulled him to his feet.

'Just listen to me for a moment,' she ordered gently, sliding the quill from his grip and placing it on the table.

Remus swallowed, eyeing her fingers which still held onto his hand. His heart was thumping fast.

'I don't fancy Sirius,' she stated.

Ignoring the desire to leave his hand where it was, he pulled it from her grip and dropped his arm to his side. 'That's good for you, because apparently Sophie loves him.'

'I did a little when I first got here,' she continued as if he hadn't said anything, 'but then I realised it was someone else that I really liked.

'Oh?' He looked down at the ground.

'Someone who was really nice to me all the time, and really clever, and handsome and just generally perfect.'

Remus had to clench his fist at his side and stare intently at the book shelf to stop himself reacting.

Her voice was quiet as she said, 'Remus, I love you.'

His eyes widened and he finally met her faze. She was looking intently up at him, smiling, and as she stood up on tiptoes and kissed him Remus felt a cross between immence joy and pain. When he felt her hand on his neck he instantly stiffened and stepped back, avoiding her gaze.

Livee swore inwardly. Now she'd scared him away. 'I'm sorry, I was caught in the moment.'

'You can't love me,' he said, resolutely.

'What do you mean?' Livee asked, taking a step towards him.

'You can't love me,' Remus repeated, his voice trembling and face becoming pale. It would be too dangerous for her. He was a monster, after all.

'Remus, what's wrong?'

'I… I only kissed you this morning so that you would tell Sophie and she would get back together with Sirius,' he lied, clenching his fists by his side.

Livee became very still. 'What?'

Remus was shaking, but he carried on, 'I don't love you. I never even liked you in that way.'

Tears spilt from her eyes as she whispered, 'Why are you saying this?'

'Because…' he took a shaky breath, 'because you need to know the truth.'

Shaking her head, Livee breathed, 'That's not the truth. It can't be. You wouldn't do that.'

'Well I did.' He blinked back tears, not trusting himself to look at her.

'No,' Livee said defiantly. 'What's this really about?'

'I just told you!'

'No!' Livee repeated, unwilling to believe it. 'No, you're lying.'

'Why do you think I am? Why would I lie?'

'I don't know!' she wailed, exasperated. 'I don't know why but I know you're lying. You wouldn't do that, you're not an arsehole!'

'Why can't you believe that I am? Why are you convinced that I'm so bloody nice all the time!'

'Because I know you,' Livee whispered, 'and you are.'

Remus buried his head in his hands. He couldn't believe he was putting her through this. Seeing her cry felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. But he had to. She couldn't love her.

* * *

Sophie was sitting in the Common Room, which, at ten at night was empty apart from her, finishing off the essay she hadn't managed to finish earlier. She registered the sound of the portrait door opening, and turned her head to see Sirius enter.

'Hey,' he grinned, entering the room as the portrait hole closed

'I was wondering when you'd show up.' She smiled as he came over to her, taking her by the hand and pulling her to her feet.

He placed his hands on her waist, kissing her softly. Sophie lifted her arms around his neck, a hand running through his hair. Sliding his hands up her back, Sirius pulled her even closer, so her body was flush against his. His hands rested where her back curved in towards him.

'Where have you been?' she murmured against his lips.

'Detention,' he replied. 'Didn't Remus tell you?'

'No, I haven't seen him.'

'That's weird.' Sirius frowned for a moment, then shrugged and continued kissing her.

The portrait door swung open.

Sophie stepped away from Sirius as Livee stumbled into the room, tears streaming down her face as fast as she could wipe them away. She looked up at Sirius and Sophie through teary eyes, sobbed even more and ran up the stairs to their dormitory.

Sophie and Sirius exchanged glances. A moment later, Remus came into the room, his hands dug into his pockets and his head hanging dejectedly.

'Oi, Remus,' Sirius called. Remus looked up at him for a second, but then ignored him and carried on up to his own dormitory.

Sophie frowned and murmured, 'That's weird.'

'Yeah,' Sirius hesitated, looking torn.

'Well?' Sophie pointed towards where Remus had gone. 'Aren't you going to see if he's okay?'

Sirius pouted sulkily. 'Why does everyone always ruin everything?'

'Go and talk to him.'

'But I want to stay with you,' Sirius moaned, sliding his hands around her waist.

Sophie laughed and pushed him towards the stairs. 'I'm going to see Livee anyway. I'll see you later.'

Sirius sighed and started to make his way to his dormitory, grumbling, 'Well if he isn't upset now, he will be in a minute.'

**AN: Poor Remus. But at least Sirius is happy. I think the next chapter will be the last, or maybe the one after that. Please review!**


	10. I love you

**AN: At this point of writing the story, my mum went into hospital, which explains the bad, rushed writing as I didn't have much time to do it. I would rewrite it now and make it better but I'm busy writing the sequel to my other story "Allied Enemies", so I won't. I hope you enjoy this anyway!**

Peter shivered with excitement. His first mission from the Dark Lord himself. The boy no one thought would amount to anything had just been given one of the most important missions ever set by You-Know-Who.

It was going to be hard, though. Murder was not something anyone can do. It takes strength to get past the emotional barrier that stops you from saying those two small words. Once past it though, nothing can stop you.

Still, Peter wasn't sure if he could do it. Especially one of the students he knew. Killing a stranger would be bad enough, but a classmate…

Peter shook such thoughts from his head. It wasn't as if Evans had ever been especially nice to him. Besides, the Dark Lord wanted him to do it, so it would be done.

Even better that he could get his revenge on James Potter.

* * *

Lily poked her head around the door to James, Sirius and Remus' dormitory, seeing how them comforting Remus was going. She sighed as she looked upon James and Sirius having a pillow fight while Remus sat on his bed watching them, his shoulders hunched forward and eyes sad despite the small smile on his face.

When James ran over to hug her she put a hand on his chest to stop him and murmured, 'Have you talked to Remus and found out what's going on?'

With a shrug, James replied, 'He just kept saying nothing was wrong so we gave up.' He glanced down at the hand on his chest and walked away, returning to Sirius.

Lily felt a pang of guilt for not letting him hug her but distracted herself from it by approaching Remus and sitting next to him on the bed. He didn't look at her.

'Remus...'

He still stared forwards at Sirius and James.

'You may as well acknowledge me because I not leaving until we talk about this.'

Reluctantly, Remus turned his head to face her and said, 'Talk about what?'

'You know what I mean.' Lily rolled her eyes. 'You telling Livee you only kissed her so Sophie would go out with Sirius?'

Sirius suddenly started paying attention. 'You what?'

Ignoring Sirius, Remus muttered, 'I just told her the truth.'

'No you didn't, Remus,' Lily denied. 'Don't think you're fooling anyone with that lie; everyone knows you're crazy about her.'

'No I'm not.'

'And I can't believe you would do that to her! She's in our dormitory crying her eyes out thanks to you.'

Remus stared at the ground, a pained expression on his face as he croaked, 'I had to.'

'Why?'

'Well I couldn't tell her the truth, could I?'

James interjected with, 'That you want to be the father of her children?'

'Shut up, James,' Remus muttered. 'I mean the truth of who I am.'

'I think she knows you're Remus by now,' Sirius pointed out.

'No! That I'm a bloody werewolf!' He buried his head in his hands.

Lily noticed the door open half way and one glance at James and Sirius told her they had too, but Remus, head in hands, was oblivious.

'Remus,' she said, comfortingly, 'she knows, and she doesn't care.'

'What? How?' He lifted his head a bit a look at her.

'Well I guessed and soon Sophie and Livee caught on.'

Remus hesitated before deciding, 'Well it doesn't matter. It's still too dangerous for her.'

'Hey,' James objected, 'we've known you all these years and we're fine.'

'No you're not,' Remus argued. 'Every month I injure you.'

Sirius waved away his concerns. 'Mere scratches.'

'Last time I broke James' arm,' Remus reminded him bitterly, 'and every month I'm terrified I'll do something worse.'

Lily frowned. 'It's not like she would have to go with you guys.'

'Yeah but still. This is our last year, what if we're still together by the end of it? What if eventually we live together? It's too dangerous, it's better I just don't even start it.' His gaze dropped to the ground again as he muttered, 'She deserves better. Not a monster like me.'

'You're not a monster,' came a quiet voice from the doorway. Remus' head snapped up and his face paled when he saw Livee standing in the doorway.

'Livee…' he began but she interrupted him.

'You shouldn't have lied to me.'

'I'm sorry,' he said, genuinely, standing up.

'You should have let me decide whether it was too dangerous.'

'I know.' He slowly walked towards her, feeling like he had been stabbed when he saw tears in her eyes.

'I can't believe you thought it would make a difference.' Now he was standing in front of her she had to look up to meet his eye.

'I'm sorry,' he breathed. He took her hand but she snatched it out of his grasp.

'I said I loved you, Remus, and whatever you do when it's full moon doesn't make a difference. Why would it?'

'I'm sorry,' he whispered again.

'But if you don't think I'm worth it, then fine.'

'No! No, I love you Livee, that's why I didn't want to put you through it. I was trying to protect you!'

'You're such an idiot,' she said with a smile.

'I know.'

'I have PMS once a month; I'm practically a werewolf myself.'

Remus looked down at her, smiling. He kissed her, feeling like the stupidest – but happiest – guy in the world.

After a moment he pulled away, turning his head to see Sirius, James and Lily all watching, grinning like loons.

'Oh Merlin, sorry,' Lily said hurriedly. 'We'll leave you in peace.'

* * *

'See how much easier things are when you tell the truth, Lily?' James said pointedly once they were in the Common Room.

Lily glared at him. 'I'm not ready to tell people yet, why can't you just accept that?'

'Because it hurts, Lily, okay? It's like after everything I'm still not good enough for you.' He crossed his arms across his chest and grumbled sulkily, 'Back there you wouldn't even let me hug you in front of Sirius and Remus, and they already know.'

'You told them?' Lily accused.

'No, they guessed. It's so obvious we may as well tell people.'

'Look, James.' Lily sighed. 'If you can't respect that I'm not ready yet then maybe you haven't changed as much as I thought you had.'

'Well maybe if you're so scared about people knowing that the great Lily Evans has sunk so low as to go out with James Potter, and you're so clearly embarrassed to be seen with me, I won't put you through it anymore.'

'So, what, you're saying this is over?' Lily demanded.

'It's obviously what you want,' James mumbled.

Lily stared at him for a moment, before snapping, 'Fine,' and storming out of the Common Room.

With a sigh, James turned around to see Sirius looking at the ceiling, whistling, pretending he hadn't been listening.

* * *

Lily had wandered around the school for about twenty minutes, fuming. Why couldn't he just deal with what she wanted? But then again, why couldn't she just deal with what he wanted…

Whatever, she thought, he probably only wanted people to know so he could show off about it.

Eventually she was stopped in her late night stomp around the castle by someone. At first she was reluctant to go with him, but he said James wanted to talk to her, and this was one of James' best friends, so she could probably trust him. Anyway, what was the worst that could happen?

* * *

With a sigh, James gazed out of the window, ignoring Sirius who was telling him in great detail why it was better that Lily wasn't his girlfriend anymore. He didn't understand why Lily didn't want anyone to know about them.

His chin rested on his hand as he watched the moon's cold light shimmering on the lake's surface.

'Oh, and she always thought she was so clever, when really she wasn't all that great,' Sirius was saying.

Remus, who had come down from the dormitory with Livee now, stopped Sirius at this and said, 'Sirius, you know that's complete bollocks. She is very clever, and she never mentioned it. I know you're trying to cheer James up, but it's clearly not working, and she's a good friend of mine, so shut up.'

'Well you try to cheer him up then, Remus, you bum-faced bastard.'

James awoke with a start from his trance when he caught sight of two figures in the darkness. The first, he'd recognize anywhere – the long curly hair, slender figure and the way she'd tilt her head slightly – Lily. The second was shorter and rounder, head hunched over his shoulders with a rat like quality.

But what was Lily doing out with Peter after hours?

James straightened up with a frown as they approached the Whomping Willow. The shorter figure's silhouette shrank until it became the shape of a rat. James waited until they both disappeared into the now still tree before running from the common room, pursued by Remus and Sirius.

'Prongs!' Sirius called, 'Where are you going?'

He didn't bother taking his invisibility cloak, Sirius thought, something's wrong.

The only reply James gave was to run faster yet, ignoring the complaints and warnings shot at him from various portraits.

'What are you doing up at this time of night?'

'Would you keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep.'

'Mind you don't get caught!'

All these comments flew over his head, and he ignored every one. All he heard were the questions spinning in his head…

Why had Peter taken Lily out of Hogwarts? Had he told her the Marauders' secret? Why had Lily gone with him? Where had Peter been the past few weeks?

The boys were now sprinting through the grass outside, not stopping until they reached the Whomping Willow.

'James?' Sirius snapped, 'Are you gonna tell us what's going on?'

'We can't get through without Peter,' Remus stated, eyeing the swishing branches.

With a curse, James darted towards the trunk. The first branch swung over his head, a second narrowly missing him by centimetres. The next slashed in front of him, tearing an arc in his chest. Ignoring the pain, he went on, ducking and jumping and receiving many hits as a punishment. The tree, seemingly angered by his determination, only whipped at him faster and harder, hacking at his flesh.

Eventually, though, he reached the trunk, and kicked at the knot.

Immediately, the tree stilled. By the time Sirius and Remus reached the gap in the roots, James had already disappeared down the passage.

'You said James wanted to meet me here,' Lily said, absently writing her name in the dust that layered the furniture, 'So where is he?'

'He'll be here,' Peter replied, nervously. He fingered his wand behind his back, preparing himself for the right moment.

Unaware of the danger she was in, Lily continued doodling, her back to Peter. For some reason, he always made her nervous. She wasn't afraid of him – more repulsed – but there was something about him that made everyone around him uncomfortable.

I can do this, Peter told himself, I must do this. Evans had to die. Something about a prophesy – Peter didn't exactly know why, but, as the Dark Lord had told him, it wasn't important. All he had to do was kill her. That's all.

With shaky breath, he pointed his wand at Lily's back, and cried 'AVADA KEDAVRA!'

When James heard those two words, he thought his heart had stopped.

_Where are you, Lily? Are you breathing? Are you hurting? Do you know I'm coming for you? Why didn't you listen to me? Why didn't you let me help you? Come back. Please. Just turn back and meet me. Can't you tell I'm dying here? I need to know. Are you alright?_

Questions and thoughts swam in his mind, as if trying to communicate with her. He knew it wouldn't work. But that didn't stop him.

_Are you afraid, Lily? I am. Afraid of what's happening to you. Afraid because I can't help. Afraid because I'm not in control. Afraid I might be too late._

He scrambled faster and faster down the tunnel.

_It will be ok, Lily. I know you're a trusting person, but you need to come back. You'll be safe if you just come back. You have to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you get hurt. Where are you, Lily?_

His thoughts grew more and more desperate.

_LILY! WHERE ARE YOU, LILY? Are you still in the Screaming Shack? Why aren't you here? Why did you leave me? _

He propelled himself through the last part of the tunnel, blinking at the sudden light. Without hesitation, he pushed Peter hard against the wall. With no time for a spell, he slammed his fist against Peter's jaw. There was a crack as it broke, and he slid to the floor, cradling his injured face.

Spinning around, he saw Lily standing on the other side of the room, her face white, emerald eyes wide. James almost collapsed with relief and ran over to her,

'Are you ok?' he asked, knowing it was a stupid question.

'The bastard tried to kill me!' Lily whispered back, staring at Peter's limp form.

Remus and Sirius were standing in the doorway, looking from Lily to Peter.

'Why aren't you dead?' Sirius asked.

'Subtle, Sirius,' Remus sighed, sarcastically.

'I… I don't know.' Lily frowned.

'I know,' James said quietly. 'Unforgivable Curses are hard magic. You have to really mean it. He obviously didn't want to kill you enough.'

'He was never very good at magic,' Sirius mused.

'But the hell would he want to kill her?'

James walked over to Lily's attacker. 'I don't know and I don't care.' He pulled out his wand.

Remus stepped forward. 'James, don't do anything to him.'

'Why not! He tried to kill Lily!'

'Yes, I know that. Just get him back to the castle. Dumbledore can deal with him.'

'Or alternatively, I could hex him to hell and back, and _then_ take him back to the castle.'

'Sounds like a plan.' Sirius got out his wand.

Shakily, Lily put a hand on James' arm. 'Don't, James. Listen to Remus.'

'Yeah, he's always right,' Sirius muttered, bitterly, then mumbled something about how he'd learnt some really good spells recently.

Reluctantly, James lowered him wand. 'Fine.'

Just before he turned away, however, he delivered a kick to Peter's side for good measure, and mumbled, 'Traitor.'

Remus levitated the unconscious body, and followed James back down the passageway.

Once they'd got to the doors of the castle, Lily felt a tidal wave of emotion hit her. While it had been happening, she'd been frozen in shock. Now she felt fear, relief and confusion. She'd been so close to death.

James looked down to see Lily had wrapped her arms around him. He held her close, noticing tears in her eyes.

'Lily, please don't cry, I'm a guy, I don't know how to cope.'

She smiled slightly, wiping away her tears. 'Yet you somehow know how to cope when someone tries to kill me.'

'Yeah, that's easy, just beat up the bastard.'

She pulled away, looking down at her now blood stained shirt, then at James' chest. 'What happened to you?' she asked, staring at the gash.

James followed her gaze, frowning in confusion, before he remembered. 'Oh yeah, the Whomping willow did it to me. Actually, I'd better get that fixed.' Pulling out his wand, he performed the healing charm – after his monthly adventures with the Marauders, it had been essential for them all to learn it.

After healing the other cuts that criss-crossed his bruised body, he smiled in satisfaction.

Lily looked up at him, and whispered, 'Thanks for coming for me.'

'All in a day's work ma'am.' He grinned. 'But you know what this means, don't you?'

'No, what?'

'It means, that I'm never gonna let you out of my sight again. Not that you'd ever want to be out of it.'

'Well I'm glad the shock hasn't affected your ego,' she smiled.

Laughing, he leaned down, stopping just short of her lips. 'Just try not to get yourself killed again, I can't stand high-maintenance girlfriends.'

Lily shivered from his warm breath on her lips, forgetting the cold of the night air. 'Well then I suppose asking for a kiss would be too much trouble for you.'

Lily could almost feel his smile and his eyelashes that tickled her cheek.

'Well,' he whispered, 'I'm not sure whether I'm up to it or not, it's lots of effort and not really worth…'

He was cut off when Lily snaked a hand up behind his neck and pulled him down the few millimetres that separated their lips.

As they kissed, James made a silent promise never to let her go.

Under the watch of the moonlight, Lily silently agreed never to try.

**AN: The end! Thanks for reading, and please review to tell me what you thought of it!**


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